"Deadly Unrest"

Joke of the Day: The UN has urged Kyrgyzstan to hold its elections despite deadly unrest. They were also urged to buy a vowel.

An American carrying a sword and pistol who told police he was on a mission to kill Osama bin Laden has been arrested. Here's my question: why can't we just find him first?

The new XBOX console - to be launched this week - will have the same price as the old system, but comes with Wi-Fi and a 250GB hard drive. The system's slogan will be, "There's no way you are getting off that couch".

A judge has ruled that Michael Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, may keep his doctor's license. However, Murray is no longer allowed to sell tanning pills.

A kitten with two faces was born in West Virginia. It's not even a day old, and the cat has already beaten Joan Rivers.

BET is giving Prince a lifetime achievement award. Why? Was Miley Cyrus not available?

A study says that children whose parents set limits on the amount of TV they can watch actually watch less TV. Isn't that kind of the point?

South African soccer fans are causing a commotion with “vuvuzelas”, plastic horns that are being criticized for making the games “loud and unwatchable”. Something plastic made a TV show "loud and unwatchable". This can also describe Heidi Montag's significance to The Hills.

Starbucks is going to offer free Wi-Fi at all its locations starting next month. This is the first time that "Starbucks" and "free" have been used in the same sentence.

A California Court will review an order to reduce the number of inmates. Here's how it works. Instead of ordinary people, they will bring celebrities in court so they are less likely to be convicted.

In Ohio, a six-story tall statue of Jesus was struck by lightning and burned to the ground. Doesn't that sound like something the KKK would do?

That's all for right now! More coming up later!

"40 Different Charities"

Joke of the Day: Cafeteria workers at Atlantic City High School in New Jersey served only cheese sandwiches Wednesday and Thursday as punishment for a cell-phone-coordinated food fight. Isn't living in New Jersey punishment enough?

Pres. and Mrs. Obama reportedly donated $329,000 to 40 different charities for tax deductions, last year. I don't know how Obama came up with $329,000, especially considering the economy.

The 20-year-old college student who accused Ben Roethlisberger of sexual assault told police she told him that she didn't want to have sex. Then again, telling Roethlisberger "No" is like telling Joe Biden to "Shut up".

Minority Republican lawmakers sponsored a resolution this week honoring the 100-year anniversary of the Boy Scouts. Still no word on how they celebrated.

The interim government has received ousted Kyrgyz President Kurmanbek Bakiyev's resignation letter, Russian news agencies reported. His reason for his resignation was that he had too many vowels in his name.

A Michigan man could face life in prison after he allegedly tortured and ultimately killed his girlfriend's 4-year-old son last week for wetting his pants, prosecutors say. The boy apparently died of embarrassment.