Bill O’Reilly says he’s concerned about House Speaker John Boehner’s emotional stability. He also announced that he's concerned with Charlie Sheen's drug problem.
An Idaho woman pleaded guilty to squirting a variety of condiments into library book drops. Due to her guilty plea, she mayo may not get prison time.
A survey says that trust in U.S. business and government has steeply declined through the recession. Who would ever distrust our government?
Zdeno Chara of the Boston Bruins set a record for the fastest hockey slap shot at 105.9 MPH. It went faster than a Larry King marriage.
An Alaska woman was charged with child abuse after she appeared on “Dr. Phil” and was shown forcing her son to drink hot sauce and take cold showers. However, Sarah Palin does have great remorse.
Egypt has shut down the Internet and Twitter to stop rioting around the country. Yeah, that'll calm them down.
Jonathan Knight of New Kids on the Block has admitted that he is gay. I'm shocked. How could a member of a boy band possibly be gay?
The cross-eyed possum from Germany is on a diet. How does it know what it's eating?
There are reports saying that there will be a lot of child sex trafficking in Dallas during the Super Bowl. And you thought the ads were creepy before.
A man in France says that the drug Glaxo made him a "gay sex addict". No wonder the number one site on his internet history is Craigslist.
A new study says that sex during pregnancy is safe for women. Try telling that to the baby in the bouncing stomach.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Showing posts with label Craigslist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Craigslist. Show all posts
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, September 5, 2010
"Computational Creativity"
Joke of the Day: Twilight star Kellan Lutz is fuming after viewing footage of a teenage girl who abused six puppies by hurling them into a river in Bosnia, saying he "can't get the image of the crying dogs out of my head". Now he knows how Michael Vick feels.
Researchers in the Netherlands claim to have added bacteria to wet cement and developed concrete that heals its own cracks. If only Paris Hilton had discovered this earlier.
Ashton Kutcher told his Twitter followers that there’s no truth to rumors that he cheated on wife Demi Moore. Because nothing provides more closure about infidelity rumors than a Twitter update.
A Western Australia court ruled that female-to-male transsexuals are still women. This ruling has no significance unless you are a transsexual. Or if you commonly use Craigslist.
A British company claims its new bra can make breasts appear 10 years younger by lifting and shaping them. Isn't that the point of men drinking alcohol?
A researcher at Northwestern University received government stimulus funding for a project called “Computational Creativity: Building a Model of Machine-Generated Humor.” Or, as Jay Leno calls it, "My monologue".
According to Yahoo! News, whenever companies start hiring freely again, job-seekers with specialized skills and education will have plenty of good opportunities. Is this the same person that said that most rappers are black?
Craigslist's "adult services" section has been shut down in the U.S. In related news, Tiger Woods has canceled his internet service.
The lead singer of the Black Crowes, Chris Robinson, said that Taylor Swift's singing is "horrible". Who knew Kanye West hung out with this guy?
Comedian Robert Schimmel died from injuries sustained in a car accident the week before. His car crashed almost as hard as his career.
That's all I have for today! More coming tomorrow!
Researchers in the Netherlands claim to have added bacteria to wet cement and developed concrete that heals its own cracks. If only Paris Hilton had discovered this earlier.
Ashton Kutcher told his Twitter followers that there’s no truth to rumors that he cheated on wife Demi Moore. Because nothing provides more closure about infidelity rumors than a Twitter update.
A Western Australia court ruled that female-to-male transsexuals are still women. This ruling has no significance unless you are a transsexual. Or if you commonly use Craigslist.
A British company claims its new bra can make breasts appear 10 years younger by lifting and shaping them. Isn't that the point of men drinking alcohol?
A researcher at Northwestern University received government stimulus funding for a project called “Computational Creativity: Building a Model of Machine-Generated Humor.” Or, as Jay Leno calls it, "My monologue".
According to Yahoo! News, whenever companies start hiring freely again, job-seekers with specialized skills and education will have plenty of good opportunities. Is this the same person that said that most rappers are black?
Craigslist's "adult services" section has been shut down in the U.S. In related news, Tiger Woods has canceled his internet service.
The lead singer of the Black Crowes, Chris Robinson, said that Taylor Swift's singing is "horrible". Who knew Kanye West hung out with this guy?
Comedian Robert Schimmel died from injuries sustained in a car accident the week before. His car crashed almost as hard as his career.
That's all I have for today! More coming tomorrow!
Monday, June 28, 2010
"Unsanitary Conditions"
Joke of the Day: FIFA admits its new soccer ball may be bad. In fact, it's so bad that the only thing worse than the soccer balls are the referees.
A tropical storm named Alex is moving into the Gulf of Mexico, which may cause hundreds of people to evacuate. People haven't ran from Alex since the last time I did stand-up.
Martin Ginsburg, husband of Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, has died at the age of 78. His death was caused by metastatic cancer, old age, and staring at Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Michael Jackson has sold an estimated 35 million albums worldwide since his death one year ago. None of which are photo albums.
BP station owners say that they’re victims of the oil spill. Mainly because they aren't down in the Gulf of Mexico helping out.
The U.S. has unveiled a plan that will make Internet transactions safer. It's called, "Shutting down Craigslist".
The FDA says that airline food is often prepared in unsafe and unsanitary conditions. Otherwise known as "airplanes".
President Obama is so mad about what General McChrystal said about him that he has also fired Jay Leno, David Letterman, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Craig Ferguson, George Lopez...
FINALLY FROM COMEDY WRITER FRIEND ISRAEL CARRASCO
A UK woman is claiming to be carrying Landon Donovan's "love child". This proves once again that even when he scores, he still loses.
That's all for today! More tomorrow!
A tropical storm named Alex is moving into the Gulf of Mexico, which may cause hundreds of people to evacuate. People haven't ran from Alex since the last time I did stand-up.
Martin Ginsburg, husband of Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, has died at the age of 78. His death was caused by metastatic cancer, old age, and staring at Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Michael Jackson has sold an estimated 35 million albums worldwide since his death one year ago. None of which are photo albums.
BP station owners say that they’re victims of the oil spill. Mainly because they aren't down in the Gulf of Mexico helping out.
The U.S. has unveiled a plan that will make Internet transactions safer. It's called, "Shutting down Craigslist".
The FDA says that airline food is often prepared in unsafe and unsanitary conditions. Otherwise known as "airplanes".
President Obama is so mad about what General McChrystal said about him that he has also fired Jay Leno, David Letterman, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Craig Ferguson, George Lopez...
FINALLY FROM COMEDY WRITER FRIEND ISRAEL CARRASCO
A UK woman is claiming to be carrying Landon Donovan's "love child". This proves once again that even when he scores, he still loses.
That's all for today! More tomorrow!
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