A teenage girl recently died after inhaling helium at a party. This might be only time that I laugh when I hear someone's last words.
A man recently suffered a heart attack while eating at Heart Attack Grill. Meanwhile, sales at the Shit Your Pants Cafe are down 97%.
Taylor Swift asked an 18-year old boy with leukemia to the Country Music Awards. Do you think they'll hook up after the show?
A woman in Nebraska is selling a Chicken McNugget that looks like George Washington. Ironically, the asking price is one dollar.
Charlie Sheen's ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, was charged with cocaine distribution. In other news, Dorothy Sandusky was charged with molesting little boys.
There was a story of a 13-year old girl who posted an "Am I Pretty Or Ugly" video on Facebook. News flash: if you have to go on Facebook to ask other people of you're pretty or ugly, chances are, you're ugly.
Gas has reached $5 a gallon in Los Angeles. If you wanna get paid to have your tank filled, go to San Fernando Valley. (thinker)
500 Blockbuster stores may close this year. This will bring the total number of running Blockbuster stores to -350.
Rick Santorum says that President Obama is a snob who wants every American to go to college. What is it with this guy? President Obama could save a man's life, and Santorum would say, "Obama is clearly distracted and has higher priorities than running our country."
An 11-year old girl in California died after fighting with a classmate over a boy. Two girls fighting over a boy; something I will never experience.
That's all I have for today! More coming later!
Showing posts with label Blockbuster. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blockbuster. Show all posts
Monday, February 27, 2012
Saturday, July 23, 2011
"Spousal Support"
Singer Amy Winehouse has died at age 27. I'm guessing overdose.
An alleged Marilyn Monroe sex tape is being reported. If you thought that was weird, it was taped about a week ago.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is trying to avoid paying spousal support for Maria Shriver. Who knew the Governator was black? (I'm so sorry)
A judge told Lindsay Lohan to speed up with her community service. To which Lohan responded, "You had me at speed".
Jennifer Lopez reportedly almost left Marc Anthony in 2009 for an affair he had with a flight attendant. If you cheat on Jennifer Lopez, it's time to take a trip to the mental hospital.
34 New Jersey schools are being investigated for cheating on standardized tests. This explains how the cast of Jersey Shore graduated high school.
Blockbuster says it will keep 90% of its stores open. To which Borders says, "Yeah. Good luck with that one".
A report says that one out of four Americans say they have participated in binge drinking. The other three are of legal age to drink.
Justin Bieber says he is taking a month off so he can “grow up”. Dude, I think you're gonna need about ten years.
Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer says she is too poor to pay for a psychologist. The only thing poor about Lindsay Lohan is her acting.
The WHO says that going to the hospital is far riskier than flying. "You've gotta be kidding me," said September 11, 2001.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
An alleged Marilyn Monroe sex tape is being reported. If you thought that was weird, it was taped about a week ago.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is trying to avoid paying spousal support for Maria Shriver. Who knew the Governator was black? (I'm so sorry)
A judge told Lindsay Lohan to speed up with her community service. To which Lohan responded, "You had me at speed".
Jennifer Lopez reportedly almost left Marc Anthony in 2009 for an affair he had with a flight attendant. If you cheat on Jennifer Lopez, it's time to take a trip to the mental hospital.
34 New Jersey schools are being investigated for cheating on standardized tests. This explains how the cast of Jersey Shore graduated high school.
Blockbuster says it will keep 90% of its stores open. To which Borders says, "Yeah. Good luck with that one".
A report says that one out of four Americans say they have participated in binge drinking. The other three are of legal age to drink.
Justin Bieber says he is taking a month off so he can “grow up”. Dude, I think you're gonna need about ten years.
Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer says she is too poor to pay for a psychologist. The only thing poor about Lindsay Lohan is her acting.
The WHO says that going to the hospital is far riskier than flying. "You've gotta be kidding me," said September 11, 2001.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
"Secession Ball"
South Carolina is holding its annual “Secession Ball”. Unfortunately, half of the ball-goers left early and started their own ball.
Merriam-Webster named “austerity” word of the year for 2010. "Austerity" is a strict economy. That's like "freedom" being the word of the year for North Korea.
A dog in Germany gave birth to 17 puppies. By force of habit, Angelina Jolie adopted 12 of them.
Indianapolis Colts receiver Austin Collie has suffered head injuries in three games this season. The last time I heard "Collie" and "head injuries" in the same sentence, Michael Vick was in court.
Jermaine Jackson says he was robbed of $192,000 in jewelry, furs and clothes. You know what Flavor Flav calls this? His daily outfit.
The Washington Post says the government has created a vast domestic spy network that collects information on Americans. Isn't that called "WikiLeaks"?
Actress Marilu Henner is one of only six people in the world who have a condition called superior autobiographical memory, where she can remember every day of her life. Or, as a man would call it, "A worst nightmare".
Blockbuster is planning on closing 182 stores by April. This is expected to come as a shock to Blockbuster's four loyal customers.
Police in New York stopped a driver for running a red light and discovered more than 500 pounds of marijuana inside his minivan. This story is being called, "A day in the life of a cab driver".
The U.S. teen birth rate hit an all-time low in 2009. This is due to the fact that teens would just prefer to watch 16 and Pregnant.
Last night was the premeire of "Million Dollar Money Drop", where contestants are given $1,000,000 and watch it slowly disappear. Or, as Charles Barkley calls it, "Tuesday".
WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has sold his memoirs to two publishing houses. The title of his memoirs: FML.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Merriam-Webster named “austerity” word of the year for 2010. "Austerity" is a strict economy. That's like "freedom" being the word of the year for North Korea.
A dog in Germany gave birth to 17 puppies. By force of habit, Angelina Jolie adopted 12 of them.
Indianapolis Colts receiver Austin Collie has suffered head injuries in three games this season. The last time I heard "Collie" and "head injuries" in the same sentence, Michael Vick was in court.
Jermaine Jackson says he was robbed of $192,000 in jewelry, furs and clothes. You know what Flavor Flav calls this? His daily outfit.
The Washington Post says the government has created a vast domestic spy network that collects information on Americans. Isn't that called "WikiLeaks"?
Actress Marilu Henner is one of only six people in the world who have a condition called superior autobiographical memory, where she can remember every day of her life. Or, as a man would call it, "A worst nightmare".
Blockbuster is planning on closing 182 stores by April. This is expected to come as a shock to Blockbuster's four loyal customers.
Police in New York stopped a driver for running a red light and discovered more than 500 pounds of marijuana inside his minivan. This story is being called, "A day in the life of a cab driver".
The U.S. teen birth rate hit an all-time low in 2009. This is due to the fact that teens would just prefer to watch 16 and Pregnant.
Last night was the premeire of "Million Dollar Money Drop", where contestants are given $1,000,000 and watch it slowly disappear. Or, as Charles Barkley calls it, "Tuesday".
WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has sold his memoirs to two publishing houses. The title of his memoirs: FML.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
"A Single Curse Word"
Joke of the Day: President Obama said that he isn't worried about the rumors that he is Muslim. In fact, he said that if he ever starts to worry about it, he will go to Allah for guidance.
The lineup for the next season of “'Dancing with the Stars” includes Florence Henderson, Brandy, Kirstie Alley and David Hasselhoff. The show should be more appropriately named, "Dancing with the Celebrities who have nothing better to do anymore".
The salmonella outbreak in fresh eggs has been tied to contaminated chicken feed. This just goes to show that even in the case of salmonella, the chicken came before the egg.
Youth employment for the summer was at 48.9%, the lowest rate since 1948. In fact, it's so bad that China is beating us by 51.1%.
Archaeologists have uncovered a 3,500 year old city in Egypt. In fact, they even have artifacts from when the city first opened. One of them was a "Larry King for Mayor" campaign poster.
Economic experts say there is a 40% chance of slipping back into a recession. Since when did America get out of the recession?
Heidi Montag is reportedly not pleased with some of her plastic surgery. Neither are most Americans.
The federal government is appealing a ruling that struck down a government policy fining broadcasters for even a single curse word. Unless you work at FOX News.
Blockbuster will reportedly file for bankruptcy in September. I guess they put the "bust" in "Blockbuster".
Glenn Beck said that he regrets calling President Obama a racist, adding, "I have a big fat mouth sometimes and I say things". In other news, Mel Gibson also said that he has a big fat mouth sometimes and he says things.
Paula Abdul is "speechless" that people want her to return to American Idol. Wait, there are people who want Paula Abdul back on American Idol?
That's all I have for today! More coming soon!
The lineup for the next season of “'Dancing with the Stars” includes Florence Henderson, Brandy, Kirstie Alley and David Hasselhoff. The show should be more appropriately named, "Dancing with the Celebrities who have nothing better to do anymore".
The salmonella outbreak in fresh eggs has been tied to contaminated chicken feed. This just goes to show that even in the case of salmonella, the chicken came before the egg.
Youth employment for the summer was at 48.9%, the lowest rate since 1948. In fact, it's so bad that China is beating us by 51.1%.
Archaeologists have uncovered a 3,500 year old city in Egypt. In fact, they even have artifacts from when the city first opened. One of them was a "Larry King for Mayor" campaign poster.
Economic experts say there is a 40% chance of slipping back into a recession. Since when did America get out of the recession?
Heidi Montag is reportedly not pleased with some of her plastic surgery. Neither are most Americans.
The federal government is appealing a ruling that struck down a government policy fining broadcasters for even a single curse word. Unless you work at FOX News.
Blockbuster will reportedly file for bankruptcy in September. I guess they put the "bust" in "Blockbuster".
Glenn Beck said that he regrets calling President Obama a racist, adding, "I have a big fat mouth sometimes and I say things". In other news, Mel Gibson also said that he has a big fat mouth sometimes and he says things.
Paula Abdul is "speechless" that people want her to return to American Idol. Wait, there are people who want Paula Abdul back on American Idol?
That's all I have for today! More coming soon!
Monday, March 22, 2010
"Live Fish In Barber Shops"
A California woman went into labor unexpectedly and gave birth with the help of her own children. The children called it "Talking poo-poo".
A New York man proposed to his fiancee on a bus to New Jersey. What's next? A McDonalds wedding with the onion ring bearer and the lettuce girl?
Nintendo is aiming to get game consoles into schools across the country as an educational tool. This will give children a good reason to go to school.
A huge sandstorm has turned the sky over Beijing orange. This sandstorm was so bad that most 6-year old workers actually got the day off.
The UNC college men’s basketball team is the most valuable program in the country, worth an estimated $29 Million. Yeah, I'd totally pay $29 million for a basketball team that didn't even make the NCAA Tournament.
The Tennessee Senate has approved having live fish in barber shops. Well, it beats the heck out of the Big Mouth Bass.
The Tennessee Senate has approved having live fish in barber shops. Tennessee wants to make sure that people are satisfied if they ever get hungry.
A Yemeni girl has written a book about being forced into marriage at ten years old and getting divorced at eleven. Britney Spears has sued this girl for copyright issues.
Blockbuster Video is hinting at a possible bankruptcy. This bankruptcy claim will affect their loyal customers. All three of them.
Parents of twins or triplets are more likely to get divorced, according to a study. The lone source of the study: Jon and Kate Plus 8.
A study says that video games can hurt a student’s schoolwork. This study is called "Well Duh!"
It was 117 years ago today, on March 22, 1893, that the first collegiate women’s basketball game was played. That was also the day that UConn's winning streak began.
In a TV interview that aired Sunday, golfer Tiger Woods admitted “I have done some very bad things”. Strangely enough, Tiger's mistresses said the exact same thing while he was with them.
In a recently televised interview on ESPN, golfer Tiger Woods says of his return, “It would be nice to hear a couple of claps.” No problem. He already has THE clap.
A New York man proposed to his fiancee on a bus to New Jersey. What's next? A McDonalds wedding with the onion ring bearer and the lettuce girl?
Nintendo is aiming to get game consoles into schools across the country as an educational tool. This will give children a good reason to go to school.
A huge sandstorm has turned the sky over Beijing orange. This sandstorm was so bad that most 6-year old workers actually got the day off.
The UNC college men’s basketball team is the most valuable program in the country, worth an estimated $29 Million. Yeah, I'd totally pay $29 million for a basketball team that didn't even make the NCAA Tournament.
The Tennessee Senate has approved having live fish in barber shops. Well, it beats the heck out of the Big Mouth Bass.
The Tennessee Senate has approved having live fish in barber shops. Tennessee wants to make sure that people are satisfied if they ever get hungry.
A Yemeni girl has written a book about being forced into marriage at ten years old and getting divorced at eleven. Britney Spears has sued this girl for copyright issues.
Blockbuster Video is hinting at a possible bankruptcy. This bankruptcy claim will affect their loyal customers. All three of them.
Parents of twins or triplets are more likely to get divorced, according to a study. The lone source of the study: Jon and Kate Plus 8.
A study says that video games can hurt a student’s schoolwork. This study is called "Well Duh!"
It was 117 years ago today, on March 22, 1893, that the first collegiate women’s basketball game was played. That was also the day that UConn's winning streak began.
In a TV interview that aired Sunday, golfer Tiger Woods admitted “I have done some very bad things”. Strangely enough, Tiger's mistresses said the exact same thing while he was with them.
In a recently televised interview on ESPN, golfer Tiger Woods says of his return, “It would be nice to hear a couple of claps.” No problem. He already has THE clap.
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