Saturday, July 23, 2011

"Spousal Support"

Singer Amy Winehouse has died at age 27. I'm guessing overdose.

An alleged Marilyn Monroe sex tape is being reported. If you thought that was weird, it was taped about a week ago.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is trying to avoid paying spousal support for Maria Shriver. Who knew the Governator was black? (I'm so sorry)

A judge told Lindsay Lohan to speed up with her community service. To which Lohan responded, "You had me at speed".

Jennifer Lopez reportedly almost left Marc Anthony in 2009 for an affair he had with a flight attendant. If you cheat on Jennifer Lopez, it's time to take a trip to the mental hospital.

34 New Jersey schools are being investigated for cheating on standardized tests. This explains how the cast of Jersey Shore graduated high school.

Blockbuster says it will keep 90% of its stores open. To which Borders says, "Yeah. Good luck with that one".

A report says that one out of four Americans say they have participated in binge drinking. The other three are of legal age to drink.

Justin Bieber says he is taking a month off so he can “grow up”. Dude, I think you're gonna need about ten years.

Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer says she is too poor to pay for a psychologist. The only thing poor about Lindsay Lohan is her acting.

The WHO says that going to the hospital is far riskier than flying. "You've gotta be kidding me," said September 11, 2001.

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!

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