Monday, July 4, 2011

"Grunt Control"

Today, July 4th, is Independence Day. Or, as George Bush calls it, "The day where we celebrate people who are neither Democrats or Republicans".

The BBC has come up with a grunt control device for people who want to turn down the volume of women tennis players’ grunting. I hope the Porn Channel doesn't find out about this.

A Nigerian man flew from New York to Los Angeles with an invalid boarding pass and fake ID. They knew the man was Nigerian because his name didn't fit on the ID.

A motorcyclist participating in a protest ride against helmet laws in New York died after he hit his head on the pavement. Karma's a bitch, isn't it?

Ohio governor John Kasich signed a law that allows people to bring guns into places where alcohol is served. What could possibly go wrong?

Taylor Swift cancelled her concert in Louisville because she was sick. Apparently she heard herself sing.

The FOX News Twitter feed was hacked, and the hacker said that President Obama was assassinated. However, upon reading this, the people at the FOX News 4th of July party got a lot happier.

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!

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