"A Computer Attack"

Joke of the Day: Britain’s oldest new dad became a father at age 79. He had the child with his 25 year old girlfriend, and claims he didn’t need Viagra. Or, as we call that in America, "Hugh Hefner".

Paris Hilton was arrested in South Africa for possession of Marijuana but was released and charges were dropped. That's weird; when it comes to Paris Hilton, possession, release, and dropping, it usually involves a sex tape.

Lindsay Lohan was reportedly punched in the face by a waitress while celebrating her 24th birthday. Police are calling this senseless, cruel, and, oh wait, that's Lindsay Lohan? She deserves it.

Factory jobs are reportedly returning but companies say that skilled workers are hard to find. Mostly because the kids want to enjoy summer break.

President Obama says the economy is headed in the right direction. But seriously, where else can you go when you've hit rock bottom?

70% of Texas schoolchildren failed the state physical education test. The other 30% were too lazy to get off the couch to actually take it.

Authorities in Austria are investigating the amputation of the wrong leg of a 91 year old woman. All they know right now is that they cut off the wrong leg and part of one of her breasts.

Gen. David Petraeus formally assumed command of the 130,000-strong international force in Afghanistan on Sunday, declaring "we are in this to win". Well, let's hope so.

U.S. officials have largely ruled out North Korea as the origin of a computer attack last July that took down U.S. and South Korean government websites. Mostly because nobody in North Korea knows what a computer is.

That's all for today! I'm leaving for camp very soon and I don't know if I'll be able to write. But anyway, more coming soon!