Monday, March 5, 2012

"Speech Jamming Gun"

Kirk Cameron recently said that homosexuality is "unnatural". Hey Kirk, guess what else is unnatural? A career that disappeared as fast as yours did.

Rush Limbaugh recently called a girl a slut because she supported birth control for women. Here's my response, Rush: You know conservative commentator Andrew Breitbart? I'm glad he died.

Google is planning to dig even deeper into the lives of its users through the information it collects. There's already a website for that. It's called "Facebook".

Justin Bieber was given a $100,000 hybrid car for his 18th birthday. Hopefully he uses it to drive himself off a cliff.

A study says that seniors say they sleep better than younger adults. Wait a minute. Taking a piss six times in one night is not a problem?

Doctors in England used fat from a man’s stomach to repair an injury to his head. Maybe the NFL should consider hiring me as a donor.

President Obama says he “screwed up” during the 2008 campaign. Yeah, that's why he got elected.

New England Patriots wide receiver Chad Ochocinco got peed on by a lion. The lion promptly sang "I Believe I Can Fly".

Japan has invented a speech jamming gun that can silence people in mid sentence. Really? That's the biggest load of

McDonald’s says all its advertising will include a nutritional or physical activity message to kids. And after that, the FCC will air a commercial featuring hardcore porn.

Researchers say that top financial traders have a lot in common with psychopaths. Mainly because financial traders ARE psychopaths.

That's all I have for today! More coming soon!

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