"Prop 19"

Prop 19, which called for the legalization of marijuana in California, did not pass yesterday. This is terrible news for stoners who still don't notice the difference.

Three US astronauts on the International Space Station cast their ballots on Tuesday. These votes did not have any weight on the election.

Indonesia’s erupting Mt. Merapi volcano forced the cancellation of numerous international flights. So numerous international flights did not fly. And then a volcano erupted.

The 49ers rallied to beat the Broncos at Wembley Stadium in London, Sunday, in front of 84,000 fans. Unfortunately, 83,000 of those fans thought they were going to watch a different football.

The Magic-Knicks game at Madison Square Garden was postponed after debris fell from the rafters. The debris fell faster than the Knicks' winning percentage.

A 17 year old stowaway in Siberia survived a flight in a plane's landing gear. And his ride was the most comfortable of anybody in the plane.

The midterm election turnout is expected to break records. One record: the most suicides due to being annoyed by attack ads.

A report says that Billy Ray Cyrus and his wife Tish ended their marriage after she had an affair with Bret Michaels. And after Billy Ray Cyrus had an affair with his daughter.

The lawyer of Brooke Mueller says her husband Charlie Sheen humiliated her. Isn't being married to Charlie Sheen humiliating enough?

Janet Jackson says in an interview that she never wanted to be a singer. If only Michael had that same revelation.

That's all for today! More tomorrow!