"Passed Up A Chance"

President Obama’s approval rating has dropped to 45 percent. In an unrelated poll, the number of Americans who prefer FOX News over CNN is 55%.

Jimmy Carter is expected to travel to North Korea to win the release of an American held there. Now why all of a sudden would Kim Jong-Il want to keep Americans in North Korea?

An intruder was arrested at Paris Hilton’s Los Angeles home after she said he tried to break in. It's the first time ever that Paris Hilton has ever disliked an invasion.

Outfielder Johnny Damon passed up a chance to return to the Boston Red Sox and instead elected to remain with the Detroit Tigers. Psychological evaluations are scheduled for tomorrow.

Former Major League Baseball player Bobby Thomson, who hit the "Shot Heard 'Round The World", has died at the age of 86. His last words were, "The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the penn - oh, wait".

Sylvester Stallone says the U.S. apologizes too much. To which the U.S. said, "I'm sorry. I'll stop".

A nail salon in Georgia tried to charge a woman customer an extra $5 because she is overweight. This explains why I would qualify for $2,000 in extra fees.



That's all for right now. Off to school I go. More coming later today.