Saturday, September 24, 2011

"Asthma Inhalers"

The memoirs of WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange have been published without his approval. Karma's a bitch, isn't it?

A Ukrainian man won a dumpling eating contest by eating ten dumplings in half a minute and then died. I have to ask; how bad was the cook?

Michigan congressman Thaddeus McCotter has dropped out of the presidential race. He would have run, but even he didn't know who he was.

Scientists say they have discovered particles that move faster than the speed of light. It's a Jew with a coupon. (Cowritten by my buddy Josef Pevsner)

Asthma inhalers are being phased out by the government to protect the ozone layer. That's right. Our government prefers the environment to its own people.

Florida Marlins reliever Leo Nunez has been suspended for playing under a false identity. "Why would anybody do that," said Charlie Sheen, aka Carlos Estevez.

A report says that the federal government pays dead employees $120 Million a year. Wasteful government spending my ass!

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!

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