Thursday, October 6, 2011

"Older Dads"

Steve Jobs has died at the age of 56. His headstone is the first to come with a crappy camera.

The IRS has hit an Oakland medical marijuana dispensary with a $2.4 Million tax bill. A marijuana dispensary with that big of a debt? It has to be run by Willie Nelson.

Sesame Street has introduced Lily, an impoverished Muppet who suffers from hunger. I guess the Cookie Monster has to learn about sharing.

A study says that embarrassing moments make people more likable. Then why is President Bush's approval rating so low?

Guinness says the new rage in China is breaking world records. Like the world's shittiest drivers.

The Post Office plan for recovery involves delivering more junk mail. Nigerian princes are already writing their fake letters.

Tiger Woods has signed his first endorsement in two years, with Rolex. Really? I would've guessed Trojan.

A study says that football players who cry after a game have higher self esteem than those who don’t. I didn't know it helped your self-esteem to have people who see you cry call you a pussy.

A study says that older dads have a higher chance of having less intelligent children. "That's a straight up lie," said Snooki's 104-year old dad.

That's all I have for today! More coming tomorrow!

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