Tuesday, October 11, 2011

"Running A Marathon"

Steve Jobs died of respiratory arrest caused by a pancreatic tumor. Apparently there wasn't an app for that.

A study says that selfish and aggressive behavior is perceived as strength in the office. Isn't that called "Wall Street"?

The NBA has canceled the first two weeks of the regular season. This is the worst thing to happen to black people since the death of Biggie.

Rihanna says that she's happy for Chris Brown's success. And that was this week's installment of "Riiiiiiight...".

Three people were hospitalized after pot-laced brownies were served at a funeral. Weirdly enough, they washed them down with Coke.

A woman gave birth after running a marathon. Running a marathon while pregnant? Top that, Kenya!

LeBron James is considering joining the NFL. Maybe he should take his talents to South Beach. They actually need him.

Scientists say they are 95% sure that Bigfoot lives in the Russian tundra. I think I speak for the entire world when I say, "Like seriously. Give it up."

Two men have been hospitalized after a fight over a dead deer in northeastern Pennsylvania. Yeah, Alex, I'll take "White Trash" for a thousand.

An official at the CDC was arrested molesting a 6-year-old boy and bestiality. If this guy works for the CDC, then I should be a trainer on "The Biggest Loser".

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!

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