Monologue Jokes Special - Obama's First State of the Union Address

These are all jokes regarding President Obama's first State of the Union Address!

Diane Sawyer said that this State of the Union Address is "the speech of President Obama's life. The speech of his life, in which he discusses how much America is screwed.

Most people disagree with what President Obama is doing as President. The title of the survey: The Republican Opinion.

Representative Joe Wilson, famous for saying "You lie" during one of President Obama's speeches, tweeted before the speech that he would be on his best behavior. For example, instead of telling President Obama "You lie", he will tell everyone else, "I told you he lies".

Representative Joe Wilson, famous for saying "You lie" during one of President Obama's speeches, tweeted before the speech that he would be on his best behavior. HE'S LYING! HE LIES!

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton attended the State of the Union address. To which Bill said, "Hey, I'm getting a break from her tonight".

President Obama said in his State of the Union address, "The worst of the storm is behind us, but the devastation remains". Little did we know that this was the State of the Union address of Haiti.

President Obama started off his State of the Union speech with such a pessimistic point of view, Joe Wilson stood up and said, "You don't lie".

President Obama said that the bailouts were less popular than a root canal. Well gee, no wonder his teeth are so white.

President Obama said that jobs must be our #1 priority in 2010. In fact, he will create 50,000 jobs for one mission: sculpting the ears on Obama's personal statue.

President Obama said that he can never accept second place. In an unrelated story, John McCain and Hillary Clinton were in the audience.

President Obama said that people should reward success instead of failure. It took Obama a whole year to think of that?!?

President Obama said that people should reward success instead of failure. President Obama really is a superhero: Captain Obvious.

President Obama said that people should not go broke if they go to college. Unless your college is a major party school that relies on you for the beer and drugs.

President Obama said that "we have never been closer to bringing security to the lives of Americans". Now let's go a step further and bring security to the White House.

President Obama thanked wife Michelle for helping the childhood obesity epidemic, and he even called her "honey". To which Michelle said, "Not tonight, Barack".

President Obama said that America should try common sense. This is a true milestone. We haven't seen common sense in the White House for eight years.

President Obama said that he's trying to help Democrats and Republicans work better together. Look dude, you're the President, not a miracle worker.

Thanks loyal readers, and I hope you enjoyed these jokes! More to come soon.