"A Cast On His Right Leg"

Joke of the Day: President Obama and his family went to see the movie "Avatar" in 3-D on New Year's Eve. I guess Obama wants to know what it's like for something with a really expensive budget to actually have success.

Tiger Woods has lost another sponsor: AT&T. No, not because of his mistresses. It's because Tiger is always wearing a ball cap with a wide checkmark for a logo.

In the wake of his affairs, Tiger Woods has lost Gillette as a sponsor. As a matter of fat, Gillette had so much against Tiger that they would have considered Billy Mays to be a step up.

A federal appeals court on Wednesday upheld a lower court ruling that said Apple's iPod music players do not pose an unacceptable rish to users' hearing. That is, until you plug headphones in and start listening to music.

Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner have reportedly split. Don't ask me why, I blame Taylor for the break-up.

Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner have reportedly split. This breakup is kind of like a pair of pants: To repair a split like this one, it's going to take a Taylor for the two of them to come back together again.

One of the performers at the New Year's Eve celebration, Justin Bieber, performed despite a cast on his right leg. Apparently he took that whole "break a leg" thing too seriously.

South Dakota authorities say a woman found passed out in a stolen delivery van earlier this month registered a blood alcohol content of .708. The contents of the delivery van? I wouldn't be surprised if it was beer.

New Year's Rockin' Eve host Dick Clark had a momentary lapse during the countdown of the ball drop, where he accidentally counted down from 14 to 12 to 10 to 11. It was so bad that even George Bush knew it wasn't right. I believe Bush's exact quote was, "Switch the 14 and the 12 and you'll be just fine."