Monday, May 16, 2011

"Assaulting A Hotel Maid"

Osama bin Laden’s estate had porn, Viagra, and marijuana. Oh wait, never mind. That was Hugh Hefner's bedroom.

Phoenix Suns president and CEO Rick Welts says he is gay. That explains why all the players on the Suns are expert ball-handlers.

NFL receiver Chad Ochocinco lasted only 1.5 seconds while riding a professional rodeo bull. Really? I thought he would have lasted at least 8.5 seconds (think about it).

Mike Huckabee decided not to run for President because "his heart said no". Donald Trump would have said the same thing, but he doesn't have a heart.

The head of the International Monetary Fund was arrested on charges of assaulting a hotel maid. As he was walking to court, he was mistaken for Ben Roethlisberger.

Apple is offering an app for iPhones that can help find hookers. It's called a map of Las Vegas.

A study says that knowledge of grammar is hardwired into the human brain. It sure is, ain't it?

Physicist Stephen Hawking says that the afterlife is "a fairy story". Just like him walking and talking like a normal human being.

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!

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