Tuesday, April 13, 2010

"Blamed It On Diarrhea"

Joke of the Day: Kirstie Alley has confirmed that her 17-year-old son is engaged to be married. This wedding is expected to break a world record. The world's fastest eaten wedding cake.

A new porn magazine is coming out for the blind in Braille. Seriously, that's as useless as an iPod for the deaf.

An Iowa teenager will attend her high school prom wearing a dress she made out of Wrigley’s gum wrappers. Chances of this girl having a date are pretty small.

New York Yankees relief pitcher Chan Ho Park had a terrible outing in his first appearance this season and blamed it on diarrhea. In other words, his bad outing has been blamed on the runs.

A good-looking significant other will cause other potential mates to find you more desirable, new research suggests. The research has been entitled, "Must be his wallet".

Derek Lowe has called rookie outfielder Jason Heyward a young Alex Rodriguez. Unfortunately, he wasn't talking about what he does on the field.

Hank Aaron believes batters shouldn't try to hit a homerun every time they're at bat. That's like Lindsay Lohan telling everyone to "Say No!"

A Swedish man who flew passenger jets in countries around Europe for more than a decade without a license was let off with a light fine by a Dutch court on Tuesday. Now would be a good time for the "But everyone's doing it" excuse.

Recently, Ellen DeGeneres asked Eva Longoria Parker to strip on her show. You don't have to be lesbian to do that, Ellen.

That's all for now! More tomorrow!

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