Monday, April 12, 2010

"A Slap In The Face"

Senator Charles Schumer wants the government to prohibit airlines from charging fees for carry on luggage, saying it is a “slap in the face” to travelers. I think it's a slap in the face whenever the pilot is drunk.

An Arizona man was arrested after his gun went off in a Wal-Mart. He was charged for being too sophisticated for Wal-Mart.

A study says that one third of people snoop on their lover’s texts and e-mails. The other two thirds of people studied were Amish.

A new animated series from Steven Spielberg will take a look at life in 25, 50 and a hundred years in the future. The series will be called, "Brett Favre's NFL Career".

A US military doctor removed a live 14.5 millimeter round of ammunition from the head of an Afghan soldier. This was quite an easy task. The Afghan soldier didn't have a brain that could get in the way.

As a fund raiser, a high school booster club in Illinois is selling bags of alpaca manure to the public. In a related story, the Chicago Cubs bought a bag and named it their starting pitcher for tonight.

Home run king Barry Bonds says he’s proud of former slugger Mark McGwire for returning to baseball after admitting he used performance-enhancing drugs. Bonds would have returned, but he didn't have the balls to do it.

On opening day for the White Sox, a couple was found in a men’s restroom having sex. The scary part: neither person was in the wrong restroom.

More than 20,000 gathered outside Irving, Texas Sunday to watch as Texas Stadium was dynamited. It's been regarded as the only thing in history to go down faster than a Taco Bell combo meal.

It's been reported that Sarah Palin will make a million dollars per episode for her TLC reality series. The title of the show pretty much speaks for how much she will contribute. "How to be an unsuccessful politician".

Records show that the U.S. recall of faulty vehicles was purposely delayed by Toyota. This is the first thing in the history of Toyota to be delayed.

Well, that's it for right now! More tomorrow!

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