Friday, April 30, 2010

"Interbred With Neanderthals"

Joke of the Day: Iranian police are warning that women who have a suntan will be arrested. In related news, Iran has released a search warrant for the cast of Jersey Shore.

It’s National Arbor Day. I celebrated by reading the newspaper and printing off tons of flyers about it.

Oprah Winfrey’s cable network OWN will air a show called “Inside Rehab”, which is about treating eating disorders. What's next? Is the Tiger Woods Network going to air a special on treating sexual addiction?

A spokesman for NASA says that claims of life on Mars are “absolutely false”. I don't need a spokesman for proof. I need a video camera.

The 83-year-old actress who played Thelma Lou in the original “Andy Griffith Show” was robbed recently in Mt. Airy, NC. She was given the option of giving the robber her money or her life.

Scientists say they have new evidence that humans may have interbred with Neanderthals about 100,000 years ago. They call that evidence "Larry King".

The “National Enquirer” says Tiger Woods had sex with 120 women while he was married. Strangely enough, one of the women not on the list: His wife.

Conan O'Brien has grown a beard while in exile. Apparently that $30 Million dollars that NBC gave him was not spent on a razor.

President Hugo Chavez on Thursday invited Cuba's Fidel Castro and Bolivian President Evo Morales to join Twitter. To which both of them said, "No. In our country, we don't have internet."

Scientists say that the genetic make up of frogs is very similar to humans. That ought to cheer people up.

Oprah Winfrey has signed a $100 Million deal with Procter and Gamble. It's nice to see Oprah associate with something in Cincinnati besides an ice cream parlor.

That's all for now! More to come later today!

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