Monday, April 26, 2010

"Mayberry With A Beach"

Joke of the Day: A Detroit strip club manager was arrested for employing a 14 year old female dancer who was making up to $350 a day. Still yet to be discovered, the dancer's seven-year-old brother was employed by the Catholic Church.

George W. Bush’s book “Decision Points” is set to be released on Nov. 9. It's the first book by a President to be entirely in pictures.

George W. Bush’s book “Decision Points” is set to be released on Nov. 9. May I suggest a title? It's a book about his presidency. It should be called "Zero Points".

George W. Bush’s book “Decision Points” is set to be released on Nov. 9. One-thousand signed copies are available for $350 each. And for an extra $100, George will let you keep the crayon he used to sign it.

World-renowned physicist Stephen Hawking says we should stop sending broadcast signals into space to contact alien life forms. Here's a good idea for a start: Get Stephen Hawking a translator.

A North Carolina town called “Mayberry with a beach” has banned swimmers from wearing thongs. And yet, still no word on Grandpa and his Speedo.

In Scotland, a man was accused of weighing his penis on a grocery store’s produce scale. The man became seriously embarrassed when the scale voice told him, "Object not detected, please try again."

A poll says that 60% of Americans support a National Day of Prayer. Of those 60%, 100% of them want to designate April 15 as the National Day of Prayer.

China may ease its long hated one child rule for couples. China is demanding that if a family was to have two children, at least one of them must be employed.

A doorman strike was narrowly averted in New York City. NYC citizens were extremely upset. They actually had to open doors all by theirselves.

A study says genetics determine at what age a child learns to read. It's unknown whether they learn to text before they learn to read.

Joe Paterno says he favors the Big Ten expanding from eleven to fourteen teams. Even though the conference is clearly called the Big Ten.

The USOC has ended their plan for an Olympics network. It's not anybody's fault. They just didn't want to over-advertise crappy NBC programming.

That's it for now. By the way, congratulation to me! This is my 100th blog post! Come on, celebrate with me faithful reader!

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