Wednesday, September 22, 2010

"Broke His Leg"


Joke of the Day: Today is the first day of autumn. It's that time of year where leaves change color faster than Sammy Sosa.

Larry Summer, the White House’s top economic advisor, says he will leave that position. Wait, someone advises our economy? Where the hell has he been?

President Obama’s aunt says the United States is obligated to make her a US citizen. Things got a little weird when his aunt said, "Haha, beat you to it".

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad blamed capitalism for poverty in the world. In other words, it's our fault.

NFL star Reggie Bush, who returned his Heisman Trophy without apologizing, broke his leg in Monday night’s game. Bush plans to be out of football for a while. Unless he is ruled ineligible.

Denver Broncos WR Kenny McKinley has committed suicide. He killed himself after he realized that he plays for the Denver Broncos.

British children's weekly pocket money has fallen to a seven-year low, in a sign parents are still cutting back on non-essential spending. Even more scary, buying dental hygiene products is considered non-essential spending to the British.

Studies suggest that larger women earn less than skinnier women. Especially if they work in porn.

A report from George Washington University says that obesity hurts your health. In a related story, I'm overweight and unattractive to women.

Two Indiana kids have died after they spent 10 hours in the closet. You experiment with being gay for one day and this happens...

A study says that iPhone users want to switch Verizon. It's not that they want to switch to Verizon, it's that they want to get the hell off of AT&T.

The U.S. has fallen behind world markets Brazil, China and India as the best places to invest. When it comes to the best places to invest, who knew the U.S. was ahead of anybody?

A poll says that 35% of Americans would like George W. Bush back in power as President. You know you suck as a President when people prefer George Bush over you.

That's all I have for right now! More coming soon!

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