Saturday, September 4, 2010

"Moving To Florida"

After years of growth, Las Vegas is losing people who can't find work and think they will have better luck elsewhere. No wonder they have so many hookers.

A survey says that many Americans don't realize how fat they are. Maybe because we are too lazy to go to the doctor and find out.

The Balloon Boy's family is moving to Florida from Colorado. Of course, the six-year old boy will travel all by himself without his family knowing where he is.

A historian says that Winston Churchill targeted Benito Mussolini for assassination to cover for some embarrassing letters he wrote the Italian leader. If this applied today, Tiger Woods would have murdered all his mistresses.

Some German school children were accidentally given some pens with pornographic pictures on them as part of a gift bag from the Communist Party. What happened to the old days where students only saw their teachers naked?

An antidepressant patch does not help smokers quit as it was hoped. How about an anti-smoking patch?

Kara DioGuardi is officially leaving “American Idol”, saying it is the “best time to leave”. What makes it the best time to leave is that everybody else wanted her to leave.

A Consumer Reports survey rates McDonald’s hamburgers as the worst tasting of any chain. This could change the restaurant of choice for up to three people.

Lindsay Lohan bumped into a stroller while driving her Maserati. The question is, why can't people give Lindsay Lohan a car with a breathalyzer?

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!

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