"Kicked The Habit"

Joke of the Day: A NASCAR reality show will be coming to BET. That's like having a porno series on the Disney Channel.

The maker of Botox settled a federal investigation into its marketing practices. They did this by keeping a smile on their face the entire time; mainly because they couldn't help it.

An 18-year-old South Dakota student who stockpiled bombs in his bedroom wanted to be “the world’s most infamous sociopath.” Yes, every teenage boy's dream is to be a sociopath.

Tiger Woods has reportedly taken out a $54 Million mortgage on his house to pay off his ex-wife Elin. For once, Tiger Woods paid off a woman for a reason other than hush money.

A NASCAR reality show will be coming to BET. Why? Was Larry The Cable Guy not available?

President Obama says that peace in the Middle East is doable in a year. Then Paris Hilton interrupted President Obama and said, "Like hell it is".

A study says that CEOs who laid off more people made more money since the economy crashed. The study was coordinated at the Lehman Brothers headquarters.

A study says that young women make more money than their male co-workers. They do the same amount of work. I wonder how they earn that...

A study says that coffee may combat high blood pressure. In the end, both of these things lead to the same thing: going absolutely crazy.

Stephen Hawking said that God did not create the universe. Excuse me, my bad. Stephen Hawking's speech synthesizer said that God did not create the universe.

A two-year-old Indonesian boy who smoked about 40 cigarettes a day has kicked the habit after receiving intensive specialist care. Intensive care? How about a key and lock?

Older people prefer to read negative news stories about the young, possibly because it makes them feel better about themselves, a new study suggests. Based on what has happened recently, the older people should feel like children again.

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!