Tuesday, September 21, 2010

"Known And Unknown"

After stating that illegal immigrants worked around his house, Colin Powell now says he doesn’t hire illegals. Anymore.

Washington says the recession ended in June of 2009. Good luck getting the rest of us to agree.

Wal-Mart says it will aggressively build a new version of its stores, much smaller than its supercenters. Won't it be kind of difficult to ship buildings from China?

Leonard Skinner, the high school gym teacher whose name inspired the band name Lynyrd Skynyrd, died recently. In response, the community held a cigarette lighter vigil.

Donald Rumsfeld's memoir called "Known and Unknown" will be released in January. However, the release was delayed after it was discovered that Pastor Terry Jones had already taken that title.

The UK is proposing that all paychecks go to the government which will then be distributed after all taxes are taken out. Isn't that called socialism?

A Chicago man has been charged with plotting to detonate a bomb near Wrigley Field. The bomb was labeled "Cubs playoff chances".

Harvard Economics Professor Mark Feldstein says raising taxes would cause a recession. It's nice to know that this professor finally came out of his coma.

Moral search engines are being created by religious groups to "squeeze out" the sin on the Internet. That's like trying to "squeeze out" the racism of Mel Gibson?

A study says that the common cold virus could be making kids fat. Who knew McDonald's employees were sick in the first place?

Paris Hilton is admitting the cocaine found in her purse belonged to her. In another horrible attempt at timeliness, Al-Qaeda is admitting to being behind 9/11.

Boeing is developing a solar powered unmanned plane that could fly for five years without landing. Of course, most planes nowadays take five years just to take off from the runway.

That's all I have for today! Let's just pray that I make it to iPhunny! More jokes coming tomorrow!

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