"A Wussy Game"

Reggie Bush said Thursday that giving up his Heisman Trophy is “not an admission of guilt”. Yeah, and I allowed the repo man to take my car, but I clearly made the payments.

NFL Hall of Famer Roger Staubach says today’s pro football is a “wussy game”. However, I believe that the NFL has its share of tough guys. Well, they're that way off the field.

NY Yankees star Derek Jeter faked being hit on the arm against Tampa Bay when an inside pitch really hit his bat. In fact, that was such a bad acting performance that he'd fit right in with A-Rod's ex-girlfriends.

A study in London says that drugs used to treat acne, like Accutane, do not cause depression. Unless they don't work.

Authorities in Washington say police shot a man who pointed a gun at them on Capitol Hill. Angry men on Capitol Hill; don't we call them Senators?

Michael Jackson thought people wanted him dead because of "vicious rumors about him molesting children". In a related story, priests all across the country have gone into hiding.

An alleged threat to Pope Benedict XVI led to the arrests of five men in London on Friday. It was later determined that all five men have a son in the Catholic church.

A study says that 25% of Americans are plugged in to the Internet during sex. Of those people, 100% of them got their lover from Craigslist.

The world’s smallest cow measures just 33 inches in height. He hopes that one day he will no longer be shorter than the udder cows.

A King Kong musical could make it to Broadway. That is, if he can make it off the Empire State Building.

A study says that air pollution is linked to deadly cardiac arrest. If you live in Mexico City or Beijing, you're screwed.

A study says that only 5% of Americans do any exercise on any given day. The other 95% aren't forced to.

That's all I have for right now! More coming soon!