Wednesday, March 9, 2011


A new app filters out all Internet news about Charlie Sheen. The app is called "Losing".

Millions of dead fish have been washing up on the beaches of Redondo Beach, California. Upon hearing this news, Long John Silver's went to Redondo Beach with nets and empty trucks.

A New York woman was caught with $170,000 hidden in her underwear at JFK International. Aren't men usually the ones that stuff their underwear?

Charlie Sheen's phone number has been released online. The actual number is 310-975-5732. And hookers everywhere said, "I know. I have it on SpeedDial."

Statistics show that the happiest person in the U.S. is a composite of a tall Asian male, 65 or older who lives in Hawaii and is married with an income of $120,000 a year or more. The least happy person in the U.S. is the person who is being forced to watch Charlie Sheen news coverage against their will.

New York Mets pitcher Oliver Perez is now headed to their bullpen. Why send this guy to a place with a choking hazard?

Rapper 50 Cent has been linked to performing for Moammar Qaddafi, and has donated money for the cause. Exactly how much did he donate? I think around one-half of a dollar.

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!

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