Tuesday, March 22, 2011

"Abducted By Aliens"

Tuesday is International Goof-Off Day. I plan to celebrate by doing nothing.

The Nuclear Regulatory Commission says US nuclear reactors are safe. Unfortunately, they said that in Japan, too.

Rocker Sammy Hagar says he was abducted by aliens. Of course, it was a misunderstanding. He tried to say that he was the singer for Van Halen.

The star of ABC’s “The Bachelor”, Brad Womack, was rushed to a Texas hospital. Please tell me that they're going to put him to sleep.

A San Antonio man fired shots at a Taco Bell because the price of its Beefy Crunch Tacos rose from 99 cents to $1.49. And you thought the speeding bullet at Taco Bell was the food going through your digestive system.

A 400 pound Sumo wrestler finished the L.A. Marathon in 9 hours. I knew he was coming when I saw the trail of sweat on the ground.

CBS reportedly wants Charlie Sheen to come back to “Two and a Half Men”. CBS now stands for "Complete Bull Shit".

A survey by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation says the wealthiest people are concerned about being ungrateful, having bratty children and failing to meet expectations. So, like Charlie Sheen.

A study shows that more men are undergoing plastic surgery. When they are finished, the doctors say, "He/she looks fantastic".

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!

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