Sunday, March 14, 2010

"33,000 Empty Homes"

A late-night confession by Utah's House majority leader about sitting nude in a hot tub with a minor 25 years ago has shocked this conservative state's political establishment. A man in Utah did that with only one person?

Men are more likely than women to be interested in sex, have sex and enjoy sex, according to new scientific research. Wait, this research is new?

Simon Cowell’s engagement apparently came as a surprise to many of his associates. Especially Ryan Seacrest, who was seriously heartbroken.

Orange County, California has filed a lawsuit against Toyota for making unsafe vehicles. So has the entire world.

Detroit has 33,000 empty homes inside the city limits. This is due in large part to a migration known as "Operation What Are We Doing In Detroit".

A study shows why some people are able to quickly get over fighting with a spouse. It's called a divorce.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Saturday she's confident the House will pass health care legislation. She hasn't stopped smiling because of her confidence. And because she's Nancy Pelosi.

According to a study, a student who sees the letter “A” before an exam will do better on a test. In other words, if a student sees the letter A before a test, odds are they are going to see the letter A when they get it back.

Larry King is really starting to get into Twitter. He wonders why something like this wasn't around when he was a child. Of course, it would have helped if paper was invented back then.

A study says that the risk of heart attacks goes up if the stock market goes down. This study is being referred to as "The End of the Human Race".

A study says that the risk of heart attacks goes up if the stock market goes down. The only people who are unaffected by this statistic are people that work on Wall Street. None of those people even have a heart.

Howard Stern is under heavy criticism for his fat jokes about Gabourey Sidibe. Of course, Howard Stern referred to the criticism as "Gabourey Sidibe Criticism".

A man in Korea recently married his pillow. When asked why, the man said, "I may as well. I mean, I have slept with her every night."

Jets coach Rex Ryan underwent a weight-loss procedure Saturday to help him fight obesity. So I guess the Jets aren't the only "Biggest Losers".

That's it for today, everyone! I hope to have more jokes soon!

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