Monday, March 8, 2010

"Destroyed By Fire"

A historic metal forge in Pennsylvania that made ashtrays for the Hinderberg was destroyed by fire. That's like the local fireworks factory being destroyed by random explosions.

Armed robbers stormed a televised poker tournament in Germany and stole the $1.36 Million pot. Police were then baffled when the robbers were caught and they said, "Hit me".

A Washington man suffered minor injuries when the steering wheel came off his 1978 Buick. It's official. I'm traveling by bicycle from now on.

A Japanese Princess has been having problems being bullied at her elementary school. The problem is that she isn't actually a princess, she just dresses like one.

An 11 year old boy in Azerbaijan bought nine homes in Dubai for $44 Million. The sad part: an 11 year old boy from Azerbaijan has more money than the entire United States.

The Knicks missed all 18 three point shots they attempted in an NBA game last week. Strangely enough, that's the best they've played all season.

The football coach at Texas A&M-Commerce, Guy Morris, says he is "proud" of his players who took all the campus newspapers that had an article about drug abuse by the football team. Apparently they needed all those newspapers because all the coffee tables were taken.

Golfer Mark Calcavecchia says Tiger Woods changed his cell phone number five times last year. Calcavecchia also said that Woods had to change his Fave 5 every week.

This is National School Breakfast Week. This makes the other 51 weeks of the year "National Skip Breakfast Week".

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been accused, for the second time in a year of sexual misconduct. I guess he's doing a good job of living up to the name "Steelers".

March 9th is "Get Over It Day". Oh, it's not that bad. Stop whining.

Australia is producing underwear with 27% banana fiber. Don't men already have a banana in their pants?

Well, these are some great jokes (I think), so I hope you enjoyed.

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