Tuesday, March 16, 2010

"Demons Have Invaded Washington"

Former AIG workers may sue the company, saying they were shorted on their bonuses. Apparently these people now work for Citigroup.

Google says they are “99.9% done” in China because of censorship. So in this relationship, Google is the germ and China is the Clorox.

John Edwards’ mistress Rielle Hunter says her pictures in GQ Magazine are “repulsive”. Of course, not as repulsive as John Edwards.

A study says that babies respond to the rhythm and tempo of music. This study was conducted at a Justin Bieber concert.

A senior center in California was evacuated after someone dropped off a box labeled “Bomb” that turned out to be filled with cabbages. And still, grandchildren did not notice a difference.

Parents in the Modesto, California, school distract are upset with a laid-off teacher who told her students that she’ll have to take up stripping. This is because when she said, "You will need to be laid off", she didn't hear the last word.

Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas says “demons” have invaded Washington and are forcing lawmakers to mislead the public about the content of the health care bill. These "demons" that he speaks of are also called "Republicans".

The last known wild wolverine in the state of Michigan was found dead this weekend, apparently of natural causes. This is strange, because I thought that wolverines in Michigan only died during the college football season.

A 600-pound woman in New Jersey says she's okay with being fat and actually is trying to gain another 400 pounds. And when she completes her goal, Kirstie Alley will likely go back to Jenny Craig.

Lady Gaga has sparked fears for her health after she appeared "dazed and dizzy" during a concert in Auckland, New Zealand on Sunday. Apparently, she feels the same way in her dressing room.

Many people are saying that Tiger Woods wants to control everything in his life. Look where that's gotten him...

That's it for today! These jokes (in my opinion) are REALLY good. Send the love and become my follower!

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