"Animals Over Men"

A new survey from an online Harris Poll says that 24% of Republicans think Pres. Obama may be the antichrist. The other 76% think he's the President.

Urologists say that since vasectomies require men to sit for long periods of time to recover, March Madness gives patients a great excuse to watch games. In a related story, President Obama is no longer able to have children.

Utah police say a man accused of stealing two phones from a convenience store was arrested when he flagged down the investigating officer and asked for directions. It wasn't very hard to catch the man since the directions were, "Drive about one mile, take a right, and the jail should be the second building on your left".

Director Ridley Scott's "Robin Hood," starring Russell Crowe in the role of the famed outlaw, will open the Cannes Film Festival on May 12. Wait, if Russell Crowe plays the famed outlaw, who's going to play Robin Hood?

The Washington State Patrol says former "American Idol" star Sanjaya Malakar was caught speeding 110 mph on Interstate 405 outside of Seattle at Kirkland. Apparently Sanjaya still thinks he's on "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here".

The Washington State Patrol says former "American Idol" star Sanjaya Malakar was caught speeding 110 mph on Interstate 405 outside of Seattle at Kirkland. Since he's Sanjaya, police recommended that he keep his Toyota.

Rumors that Octomom Nadya Suleman may do porn have been shot down, and she wants to advertise for PETA because she prefers "Animals over men". And men across the country prefer animals over Nadya.

On June 18, the public can step into the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, the much-anticipated new attraction inside Universal Orlando's Islands of Adventure park. It's nothing much really. The only ride includes a broomstick and a zipline.

115 countries around the world will go dark for an hour on March 27th to commemorate Earth Hour. The US, on the other hand, plans to give Twitter updates on how Earth Hour is going for them.

A study says that busy hospitals have lower death rates. That's because a busy hospital means doctors that actually do work.

That's it for now! More later!