Wednesday, March 10, 2010

"Drugged Driving"

College professors are starting to ban laptop computers from the classroom. They are sick of teaching the class via Twitter updates.

Mike Dunleavy was fired as General Manager of the Los Angeles Clippers after resigning as Head Coach. The team statement says “The Clippers want to win now.” I think it would help the Clippers if they were a professional basketball team.

The U.S. says that “Drugged driving” is a growing threat on the nation’s highways. Actually, they meant "drunken driving", but the U.S. had a bad cold today.

South Africa wants a billion condoms imported for the upcoming World Cup. I like their intentions, but condoms won't solve their trafficking problem.

Chad Ochocinco says dancing is really hard because it's not something he's used to doing. At least not outside an end zone.

Happy Birthday to Chuck Norris, who turns 70 years old today. When it was time to sing Happy Birthday, he made a wish, blew out the candles, and caused the world's strongest hurricane.

Former Rep. Eric Massa, who resigned from Congress after sexual harassment allegations, said Tuesday that he groped a male staffer but denied that it was sexual. That's like gaining weight and saying food was not involved.

A study says that the number of millionaires in the U.S. went up 16% last year. The other 84% were either already millionaires, in serious poverty, or holders of health insurance policies.

Harry Smith from “The Early Show” on CBS had a colonoscopy live on the air. Talk about a gruesome sight. It was so bad that people actually preferred to watch NBC.

That's it for tonight. Sorry but I have to go. Goodbye!

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