Sunday, March 21, 2010

"Kill The Bill"

Tragically, an airplane making an emergency landing on a beach on South Carolina hit and killed a jogger. You would think that Sully Sullenberger would land in the water like always.

Madonna was recently on “The Marriage Ref”, and she gave advice to married couples in distress. That's like Kirstie Alley teaching nutrition.

A study says that people in power make better liars. Let me put that study into one word: politicians.

A Democratic lawmaker says a protester stood up in the House gallery, yelled "Kill the bill" and was cheered by Republicans. The protester then yelled, "Thank you, my fellow Republicans, and your checks are in the mail".

Scientists say that the news media paints an overly optimistic picture of cancer. I don't think that people talking about how millions die every year from cancer is optimistic.

Among children and teenagers with asthma, those who also have peanut allergies may have more or more-severe asthma attacks, a new study suggests. Especially if they are around peanuts.

The FDA has announced plans to crack down on sales of tobacco to underage users. To which President Obama said, "Yay, more cigarettes for me!".

A Bengal tiger in Mississippi, who would wow spectators with his size and antics at the Buffalo Park and Zoo, has been euthanized after a lengthy illness. Based on what he's known for, he will be forever known as Chad Ochocinco.

Those jokes are all I have for today! Come back tomorrow for more "humor".

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