"The Pi Beta Phi Sorority"

Joke of the Day: A new iPhone app turns a person’s picture into what they would look like as a neanderthal. Larry King already has something like that. It's called a mirror.

The Walt Disney Co. posted a 55% jump in second quarter earnings thanks to the success of the 3-D film “Alice in Wonderland”. And also because they stopped airing "Hannah Montana".

The Pi Beta Phi sorority at Miami University of Ohio has been suspended for a year for their outrageous behavior at a party including drunkenness, public urination and uncontrolled sex. Who else considers it strange that Ben Roethlisberger went to college at that very school?

NASA says it has found a huge chunk of the universe’s matter that it had considered missing. To which Pluto said, "Thank you for finding us".

Hank Haney resigned as Tiger Woods swing coach. So if Hank Haney is the swing coach, does that make Tiger Woods a swinger?

Russia’s richest man, Mikhail Prokhorov, purchased 80% of the New Jersey Nets. Or, as the Nets call it, their losses.

A ”brain dead” satellite drifting in space could interrupt cable programming in the U.S. I don't know what question more Americans have asked, "What would we do without cable?" or, "Why would they name anything after George W. Bush?".

The SEC is looking into what caused the stock market plunge of more than 1,000 points last week. I blame it on the fact that the Parental Controls were shut down.

That's all for now. Definitely more later!