"Undelivered Mail and Ads"

Joke of the Day: In the finale of Fox’s hit show “24”, government agent Jack Bauer was shot and beaten, but he was able to walk away. The episode is called, "A Day in the Life of a Rapper".

North Korea cut all ties with South Korea and said it will start a series of punitive actions against them. For starters, North Korea will play Justin Bieber music at full volume.

The 2014 Super Bowl will be held in February outdoors at the new Meadowlands Stadium in New Jersey. The loser of the Super Bowl will be punished by staying in New Jersey.

Thousands of pieces of undelivered mail and ads from the early 1990s have been found in a shed in Michigan. Strangely enough, they were all Victoria's Secret catalogs.

Christina Aguilera has cancelled her US tour, claiming she needs more time to practice. I'm not sure she can wait another 45 years.

NBA Coach Phil Jackson said that he doesn't want to coach for the Chicago Bulls, but he was "intrigued" by the New Jersey Nets. That's like me saying, "Nah, I don't want to write comedy material for Jay Leno. However, I did hear that Carrot Top is hiring!".

Health officials say one reason so many American kids are overweight is that few have a nearby place to play and exercise. Their parents were able to figure it out. They call it, "A backyard".

President Obama is becoming frustrated with the BP oil spill, and he is saying that he wants to "plug the damn hole". Either that, or he was talking about Joe Biden.

That's all for now. More later!