"A Risky Procedure"

Joke of the Day: A teenage driver in New York crashed his car after passing out while trying to hold his breath. This is the first time in a long time that someone who crashed their car was holding something other than their cell phone.

Cold Stone Creamery’s “PB&C” milkshake at more than 2,000 calories has been called the worst drink in America by Men’s Health Magazine. This is obviously not the worst-tasting drink in America.

A Dominican man went on a cocaine binge that resulted in an erection that lasted 27 days. And you thought four hours raised concerns.

A study says that children are more likely to be injured in every day activities on holidays. Like papercuts when opening Christmas presents.

Tiger Woods reportedly has been told not to date until his divorce is final. Unfortunately, Tiger knows the difference between dates and hook-ups.

Researchers say that elderly people should avoid wearing bifocal glasses outside to cut down the chance of falling. Here's an idea to help them stop falling: get a wheelchair.

A poll says that 16% of Americans approve British Petroleum’s handling of the Gulf oil spill crisis. The percentage was changed to zero when the 16% was asked "Explain why".

A risky procedure to stop the oil spewing into the Gulf of Mexico has yet to show much success. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that...

Gary Coleman, child star of 1970s show "Diff'rent Strokes," has died after suffering a brain hemorrhage. To which Bret Michaels said, "Wow, someone can die from that?".

Gary Coleman, child star of 1970s show "Diff'rent Strokes," has died after suffering a brain hemorrhage. His funeral is expected to be made fun of. For example, his casket used to be a shoebox.

That's it for today! More tomorrow!