Sunday, May 2, 2010

"A Smoking SUV"

Joke of the Day: Latino Americans have higher rates of visual impairment, blindness, diabetic eye disease and cataracts than whites in the United States, researchers have found. This means that Latinos will be much less likely to see the Arizona police coming.

Police found an "amateurish" but potentially powerful bomb that apparently began to detonate but did not explode in a smoking SUV in Times Square. Sounds like a job for MacGruber!

President Barack Obama shared some words of wisdom on Saturday, saying there a few things in life harder to find and more important to keep than love. And he turned to the U.S. Senate and said, "No offense".

A Memphis woman called police after she found her son stealing her prescription sedatives from her bra. The story took a really creepy turn when police discovered the mom was still wearing it when the son stole the drugs.

A beekeeper came to the rescue after a sport utility vehicle was swarmed by thousands of bees. Sounds like the car was the new beekeeper.

Indonesian police have arrested a couple who made meatballs from the flesh of protected monkeys. They have also confiscated their restaurant, Super Monkey Ballz (it's an old video game from the Nintendo GameCube).

A Russian businessman who set up a museum dedicated to Soviet dictator Josef Stalin was electrocuted and bludgeoned to death on Friday. This was put on display in the museum section called "What Stalin did to people who were against him".

President Obama called Jay Leno "the only person whose ratings fell more than mine". Leno then called President Obama "the only person whose jokes are worse than mine".

Halle Berry's ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry said that he is "sad" about their breakup. I would be sad too if I broke up with Halle Berry.

That's all I have for today! DEFINITELY more tomorrow!

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