Tuesday, June 1, 2010

"Finding Cheaper Gas"

Joke of the Day: A study says that people get happier with age. Which explains Larry King's "Happiest Person on Earth" award.

Tyra Banks gave a teary farewell to her talk show, saying that critics gave her two weeks, but the show lasted five years. This is almost exactly like Conan O' Brien, but his show lasted seven months.

British Petroleum is finally admitting that the Gulf oil spill is a catastrophe. Next on their list: actually doing something about it.

The GOP has received more money from small donors than the Democrats. Or, as I like to call it, "a non-bailout".

U.S. Diplomat Paul Bremer says the war in Iraq was badly planned. When you have George W. Bush as President, what do you expect?

A study says that high school drop outs cost taxpayers $8 Billion a year in public assistance. What about money for all the illegitimate children that they gave birth to?

U.S. drivers are finding cheaper gas for the Memorial Day Holiday Weekend. It's called "bringing a bucket to the Gulf of Mexico".

Mexico is fighting fat by banning junk food from its schools. Mexico wants these kids to be fit when they immigrate to the U.S.

Phillies pitcher Roy Halladay pitched a perfect game against the Florida Marlins on Saturday. It was the best offensive performance by the Marlins all year.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have apparently broken up. They broke up with each other when they realized how much of an idiot they both can be.

British Petroleum Managing Director Robert Dudley says that the company is learning from its failures and will apply them to their next try. Their next try? Don't they mean their first try?

Gary Coleman’s parents are demanding answers about his death. Like where is the curb that he fell off of?

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!

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