Tuesday, June 8, 2010

"World Ocean Day"

Joke of the Day: A study says that tooth loss and gum disease is being linked to mental decline. The study is entitled "Alabama".

Eugene Van Roosbroeck, an 82 year old former Olympic cyclist, was awarded a gold medal he never received from the 1948 Games. It's almost like BP was awarding him the metal.

Rising wages in China could signal an increase in export prices. To which Walmart said, "What are rising wages?".

A study says that four in five poker players use drugs to stay sharp at the table. That's the same excuse high school druggies are using for school.

A 385 pound Oklahoma woman says she was kicked out of her gym for being too fat after she tried to ride a stationary bike. Isn't it a little redundant when a place that helps people get in shape kicks someone out for being too out of shape?

Dallas Cowboys Quarterback Tony Romo withdrew from his attempt to qualify for the U.S. Open Golf Tournament as it interfered with his workout schedule. To which Cowboys fans said, "What workout schedule?".

Tuesday is World Ocean Day. BP is not expected to celebrate.

An army officer is being charged with divulging top-secret Army reports and giving them to wikileaks.org. This sounds like a website that BP would be in charge of.

The MTV Movie Awards Show was filled with 100 swear words spread through the 122 minute program. It's almost exactly like watching Katt Williams do standup - too much swearing, not enough funny parts.

A Florida-based group of nudists are lobbying on Capitol Hill this week. Considering the fact that they are at Congress while angry and completely naked, they will probably blend in.

That's all for today! More tomorrow!

1 comment:

  1. Hey Alex. Good to say hello. I think you are one of the better writers on the NY Times Blog/Daily Comedy. I feel like we are part of that virtual community that is comedy writing and feel like I know some of the writers because of the submissions to the site. Keep doing your thing.