"2 Billion Gallons"

Joke of the Day: Estonia recently held its first ever mosquito-catching contest. The winner received a year's supply of band-aids and ointment.

BP CEO Tony Hayward told Congress that as much as 2 billion gallons of oil have gushed into the Gulf of Mexico. Um, yeah, about that "progress" that you have been making...

The NCAA placed the University of San Francisco on 2-year probation over improper scholarship money for athletes. That's quite odd. Who knew anybody was paying attention to the University of San Francisco?

A Southern Illinois singer has hit the lowest note ever recorded. Even BP was going, "Man, how can he get so low?".

Campbell Soup Co. is recalling 15 million pounds of Spaghetti O's with meatballs after a cooker malfunctioned at one of the company's plants in Texas and left the meat undercooked. Uh oh!

Officials in Arkansas are investigating a shipment of 40 to 60 human heads found by Southwest Airlines employees at a cargo facility last week in Little Rock. They were cut off after Southwest discovered that they had head rests.

A man has been arrested for allegedly kidnapping actor Jeremy London and forcing him to use drugs, police said Thursday. That must explain his acting.

ConAgra Foods is recalling all Marie Callender's brand cheesy chicken and rice frozen meals after they have been possibly linked to a salmonella outbreak in 14 states. And because they taste like crap in all 50 states.

A new study says that World Cup matches improve your mental health. Unless you are a goalie for England.

A study says that air pollution is being linked to sleep breathing problems. In related news, everybody in New Jersey has been given an oxygen mask.

A study says that only 13% of the meals in U.S. homes are prepared by men. The other 87% of meals were not cooked in a microwave.

AOL is selling its social networking site Bebo. The opening bid for the site is 99 cents.

Toyota announced it will resume construction of a factory in Mississippi that was halted because of the recession. It's the first time that "Toyota" and "halted" have been used in the same sentence.

That's all for right now! More coming later!