China is pushing to ban indoor smoking in most places by May 1. The only place that allows indoor smoking will now be your grandparents' house.
According to the latest census statistics, one-sixth of all Americans is Hispanic. The other five don't live in Los Angeles.
Phillies right-hand pitcher Roy Oswalt said he felt good a day after being hit in the head by a line drive. But to be fair, he did announce in the locker room that he was the best pitcher named Roy in baseball.
Ralph Nader is calling for an end to athletic scholarships in college. And you thought he couldn't get anyone to vote for him before.
A man in China reportedly bought 6.5 tons of salt. To put that in perspective, 6.5 tons of salt accounts for one french fry at Wendy's.
A group of transgender New Yorkers are suing because they are being forced to change the gender on their birth certificate. I say that next to gender on their birth certificate, they put a question mark.
Authorities in Mali have arrested four people after an aircraft loaded with 10 tons of cocaine crashed in 2009. By force of habit, Paris Hilton said that she had 10 tons of chewing gum.
A Chinese news agency that more than 100 eastern Chinese villagers have suffered lead poisoning. Chinese officials are calling this horrible, while Americans call this a stereotype.
A new study says that children with Tourette syndrome have better motor control than kids who don't. How bad is it when a kid who twitches 24/7 has better motor control than you do?
That's all I have for right now! More later!
Showing posts with label Baseball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baseball. Show all posts
Friday, March 25, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
"Concealed Weapons"
Texas is about to pass legislation that will allow college students to carry concealed weapons on campus. This is terrible news for classmates of the person that gets pissed off easily.
On Saturday in Washington, DC, the wind blew down the National Christmas Tree. The last time something was blown down in Washington, I believe Clinton was president.
Los Angeles Clippers PF Blake Griffin jumped over a car to win the NBA Slam Dunk Competition. Clippers fans everywhere are confused as to what a "win" is.
Dennis Rodman may get nominated to the NBA Hall of Fame. Rodman not only played for the Bulls, but his nose ring and hot temper proves that he was literally a bull.
The NCAA has deadened aluminum baseball bats used by college teams to make them behave more like wood. Of course, they are completely ignoring the other option: giving them wood bats.
Justin Bieber played in the NBA All-Star celebrity game and was named MVP. I wonder if desperate teenage girls had anything to do with the voting.
Malaysian Police have arrested three men in connection with the theft of 725,000 condoms. At least they are prepared for prison.
7’2” pitcher Frank Szczepanik of Barry University in Florida is the tallest college baseball player ever. Not surprisingly, everyone on the team looks up to him.
A video game developer proposed to his co-worker girlfriend by writing “Will you marry me?” in a game he designed. It's the first time I have seen "Video game developer" and "girlfriend" in the same sentence.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
On Saturday in Washington, DC, the wind blew down the National Christmas Tree. The last time something was blown down in Washington, I believe Clinton was president.
Los Angeles Clippers PF Blake Griffin jumped over a car to win the NBA Slam Dunk Competition. Clippers fans everywhere are confused as to what a "win" is.
Dennis Rodman may get nominated to the NBA Hall of Fame. Rodman not only played for the Bulls, but his nose ring and hot temper proves that he was literally a bull.
The NCAA has deadened aluminum baseball bats used by college teams to make them behave more like wood. Of course, they are completely ignoring the other option: giving them wood bats.
Justin Bieber played in the NBA All-Star celebrity game and was named MVP. I wonder if desperate teenage girls had anything to do with the voting.
Malaysian Police have arrested three men in connection with the theft of 725,000 condoms. At least they are prepared for prison.
7’2” pitcher Frank Szczepanik of Barry University in Florida is the tallest college baseball player ever. Not surprisingly, everyone on the team looks up to him.
A video game developer proposed to his co-worker girlfriend by writing “Will you marry me?” in a game he designed. It's the first time I have seen "Video game developer" and "girlfriend" in the same sentence.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Friday, March 5, 2010
"A Tax On Clothing"
A study says that baseball players are getting fatter, with 55% of major leaguers at least borderline overweight. This was discovered when people realized that baseball barely involves any physical activity.
The Center for Disease Control says that home births are on the rise. Does this mean that being born at home is a disease?
A study says that obesity and depression are interrelated. That's because tons of people are depressed about being fat.
A candidate for Governor of Minnesota is calling for a tax on clothing. Considering how cold it is in Minnesota, this person will get all of zero votes.
American Airlines flight attendants are threatening to go on strike. They are ticked off because the pilots are hogging all the alcohol.
China says it expects its economy to grow 8% this year. Now, China will have enough money to invest in more lead.
The American Cancer Society says some of the traditional tests for prostate cancer may not be necessary. I guess somebody just realized what a prostate exam consists of.
Appearing on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Brett Favre said he was not certain he’d be back next season. This is the world's greatest example of history repeating itself.
Olympic gold medalist Lindsay Vonn will soon appear on boxes of Wheaties. Wheaties - the Breakfast of Champions (of Wipeout).
Police said a cook put a body hair in the bagel sandwich of a police officer who had given him tickets in the past. This is actually a valuable lesson to us all. Never get any ideas from Family Guy.
That's it for today! More tomorrow!
The Center for Disease Control says that home births are on the rise. Does this mean that being born at home is a disease?
A study says that obesity and depression are interrelated. That's because tons of people are depressed about being fat.
A candidate for Governor of Minnesota is calling for a tax on clothing. Considering how cold it is in Minnesota, this person will get all of zero votes.
American Airlines flight attendants are threatening to go on strike. They are ticked off because the pilots are hogging all the alcohol.
China says it expects its economy to grow 8% this year. Now, China will have enough money to invest in more lead.
The American Cancer Society says some of the traditional tests for prostate cancer may not be necessary. I guess somebody just realized what a prostate exam consists of.
Appearing on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Brett Favre said he was not certain he’d be back next season. This is the world's greatest example of history repeating itself.
Olympic gold medalist Lindsay Vonn will soon appear on boxes of Wheaties. Wheaties - the Breakfast of Champions (of Wipeout).
Police said a cook put a body hair in the bagel sandwich of a police officer who had given him tickets in the past. This is actually a valuable lesson to us all. Never get any ideas from Family Guy.
That's it for today! More tomorrow!
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