About 1,300 parishioners of a Catholic Church in New York may have been exposed to hepatitis A through communion on Christmas day. I'm not sure a good Christmas gift is "the gift that keeps on giving".
In an effort to protect children, the latest version of the American classic “Huckleberry Finn” does not contain the “N-word”. They have replaced it with "Non-Caucasian young man".
Elderly people who lose their teeth may be at increased risk for dementia. In other words, elderly people are at increased risk of dementia.
A suicidal New York man jumped from a nine story window on Monday, but he was saved by a pile of full trash bags. That's absurd. NYC trash actually in trash bags?
A ten-year old astronomer was recently been declared the youngest person to ever see an exploding star. He saw Pamela Anderson's breasts.
A new report says that nearly one in three adults could own an iPad by 2015. The other two thirds are grandparents who still think an iPad is a beauty product.
The Cleveland Browns are reportedly looking for a coach who will "lead them to a championship". In other words, they are looking for a man with magical powers.
This just in from the world of technology: the popular iPhone app "Angry Birds" has a new unlockable bird: you launch it, then while it's in its path, you touch it, and it just falls to the ground and dies.
Myspace is planning to lay off up to a half of their 1,100 employees. To put that in perspective, that's 1,100 employees per Myspace user.
A company says it has developed a “less harmful” tobacco. How about a tobacco that isn't harmful at all?
Ranchers are pushing to a return to slaughtering horses for food. Like they say, "You are what you eat".
A study says that nine in ten Americans say their diet is healthy. Of those nine, eight of them followed with, "Hold on. I need to check my blood sugar.".
That's all for right now! More to come later!
Showing posts with label STD's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label STD's. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Thursday, December 16, 2010
"Offensive To Muslims"
Two of Kate Gosselin’s children have been expelled from their school. That's what happens when Jon Gosselin is your role model.
Michael Vick says he would like to own a dog again someday. That's like me saying I would like to eat another piece of pizza.
A fight broke out at Hulk Hogan’s wedding ceremony. That's like a wet t-shirt contest at Paris Hilton's wedding ceremony.
Researchers discovered that flu germs are passed easily in high schools. Also passed at high schools: STDs.
An Austrian judge ruled that yodeling can be offensive to Muslims. Muslims first need to know that them playing Jenga is offensive to Americans.
Washington, D.C. is the most educated region in the nation, according to the Census Bureau. Try saying that during Bush's presidency.
A 71 year old Kansas woman beat down an intruder with a frying pan. Police are still trying to determine what's more hilarious: getting beat up by an old woman or a frying pan.
That's all for right now! More tomorrow!
Michael Vick says he would like to own a dog again someday. That's like me saying I would like to eat another piece of pizza.
A fight broke out at Hulk Hogan’s wedding ceremony. That's like a wet t-shirt contest at Paris Hilton's wedding ceremony.
Researchers discovered that flu germs are passed easily in high schools. Also passed at high schools: STDs.
An Austrian judge ruled that yodeling can be offensive to Muslims. Muslims first need to know that them playing Jenga is offensive to Americans.
Washington, D.C. is the most educated region in the nation, according to the Census Bureau. Try saying that during Bush's presidency.
A 71 year old Kansas woman beat down an intruder with a frying pan. Police are still trying to determine what's more hilarious: getting beat up by an old woman or a frying pan.
That's all for right now! More tomorrow!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
"The iPhone Is Addicting"
Last week was National Procrastination Week. Isn't it ironic that I'm telling you this now?
Last week was National Cheerleading Week. This week is National Celebrate An Actual Sport Week.
Voter turnout in Iraq for the country’s parliamentary elections over the weekend came in at 62%. Strangely, only 120% those votes went to Mahmoud Ahmadenijad.
A new Stanford Univ. study confirmed that use of the iPhone is addicting. Stanford students were quick to react. "OMG IM ADICTID TO DIS TING?!?"
Today was the first day that gay couples could legally marry in Washington. In fact, Senator Roy Ashburn and former Senator Larry Craig have announced a bathroom wedding.
A television producer has pleaded guilty to trying to shake down David Letterman over the comic's sexual affairs. I should have seen this coming. I saw the guy writing Letterman's confession on cue cards.
Andy Richter, Conan O'Brien's sidekick on "The Tonight Show," is acknowledging some ill will toward NBC and Jay Leno in the wake of the network's late-night upheaval. Richter was frustrated when he found out that he wasn't going to get $30 million.
The Oklahoma City council has unanimously approved a proposal that could bring an American Le Mans Series Grand Prix race to the city as soon as next year. It will likely replace the one in Seattle.
The Cincinnati Bengals have admitted "some interest" in Terrell Owens. No, not as a wide receiver, but as Chad Ochocinco's dancing partner.
A clinical trial has been announced for a drug that helps with gastroesophageal reflux disease, or GERD. Those who go and can spell gastroesophageal will win a lifetime supply of the drug.
About 16 percent of Americans between the ages of 14 and 49 are infected with genital herpes, U.S. health officials said on Tuesday. The other 84 percent of Americans are not politicians.
Federal officials are sending two investigators to California to determine what caused a Toyota Prius to race out of control on a San Diego-area freeway. Or, America could save money and see that the Prius is made by Toyota.
Senator Orrin Hatch says if Democrats try to push the health care bill through it will destroy our government's bipartisanship. Hatch then realized that you can't destroy something that doesn't exist.
Today is National Panic Day. AAAAAAH!!! WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THIS EARLIER"?
That's it for today! I'll be back tomorrow. Become my follower!
Last week was National Cheerleading Week. This week is National Celebrate An Actual Sport Week.
Voter turnout in Iraq for the country’s parliamentary elections over the weekend came in at 62%. Strangely, only 120% those votes went to Mahmoud Ahmadenijad.
A new Stanford Univ. study confirmed that use of the iPhone is addicting. Stanford students were quick to react. "OMG IM ADICTID TO DIS TING?!?"
Today was the first day that gay couples could legally marry in Washington. In fact, Senator Roy Ashburn and former Senator Larry Craig have announced a bathroom wedding.
A television producer has pleaded guilty to trying to shake down David Letterman over the comic's sexual affairs. I should have seen this coming. I saw the guy writing Letterman's confession on cue cards.
Andy Richter, Conan O'Brien's sidekick on "The Tonight Show," is acknowledging some ill will toward NBC and Jay Leno in the wake of the network's late-night upheaval. Richter was frustrated when he found out that he wasn't going to get $30 million.
The Oklahoma City council has unanimously approved a proposal that could bring an American Le Mans Series Grand Prix race to the city as soon as next year. It will likely replace the one in Seattle.
The Cincinnati Bengals have admitted "some interest" in Terrell Owens. No, not as a wide receiver, but as Chad Ochocinco's dancing partner.
A clinical trial has been announced for a drug that helps with gastroesophageal reflux disease, or GERD. Those who go and can spell gastroesophageal will win a lifetime supply of the drug.
About 16 percent of Americans between the ages of 14 and 49 are infected with genital herpes, U.S. health officials said on Tuesday. The other 84 percent of Americans are not politicians.
Federal officials are sending two investigators to California to determine what caused a Toyota Prius to race out of control on a San Diego-area freeway. Or, America could save money and see that the Prius is made by Toyota.
Senator Orrin Hatch says if Democrats try to push the health care bill through it will destroy our government's bipartisanship. Hatch then realized that you can't destroy something that doesn't exist.
Today is National Panic Day. AAAAAAH!!! WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THIS EARLIER"?
That's it for today! I'll be back tomorrow. Become my follower!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
"The Best Since 2003"
Several dating web sites are matching up couples who have the same illness. Their slogan: "The gift that keeps on giving will now be the gift that your partner already has".
Airline on time arrivals in 2009 were the best since 2003. In the eyes of comedy writers, they really were the best.
Just hours after a bipartisan jobs bill was unveiled in Washington, Thursday, Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid killed it. I guess he was mad because the paper the bill was printed on was white and with no negro dialect.
One in six US adults carried a smart phone, last year. However, while the adults were driving, those numbers rose to five in six.
A Web designer is hawking square inches of an empty lot in Detroit for a dollar each to show what can be done with vacant spaces. He may as well have sold the entire city of Detroit.
Some mental health advocates are pushing to have "orthorexia", which is classified as an obsession with eating only healthy foods. This is also being classified as the rarest disease in the history of America.
New York City could raise $222 million a year from a proposed new tax on sugary soft drinks. $222 million dollars? That's like an entire New York Yankee.
Have you seen the men's speedskating for the Olympics? That's the fastest thing I've seen on NBC since Leno's career in Primetime.
Sorry it was so late! My parents were being stupid about this. More tomorrow.
Airline on time arrivals in 2009 were the best since 2003. In the eyes of comedy writers, they really were the best.
Just hours after a bipartisan jobs bill was unveiled in Washington, Thursday, Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid killed it. I guess he was mad because the paper the bill was printed on was white and with no negro dialect.
One in six US adults carried a smart phone, last year. However, while the adults were driving, those numbers rose to five in six.
A Web designer is hawking square inches of an empty lot in Detroit for a dollar each to show what can be done with vacant spaces. He may as well have sold the entire city of Detroit.
Some mental health advocates are pushing to have "orthorexia", which is classified as an obsession with eating only healthy foods. This is also being classified as the rarest disease in the history of America.
New York City could raise $222 million a year from a proposed new tax on sugary soft drinks. $222 million dollars? That's like an entire New York Yankee.
Have you seen the men's speedskating for the Olympics? That's the fastest thing I've seen on NBC since Leno's career in Primetime.
Sorry it was so late! My parents were being stupid about this. More tomorrow.
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