Showing posts with label Breakfast. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Breakfast. Show all posts

Thursday, March 10, 2011

"Risky Gambling"

Next Monday is National Napping Day. I would celebrate, but for some reason, I'm just too tired.

A study says that a lack of sleep can make people overly optimistic and prone to risky gambling. The study was conducted in Las Vegas.

Cap’n Crunch is being retired by Quaker Oats, a result of too much sugar content. Apparently Quaker Oats didn't want a cereal that was over-crunchatized.

A New York teen has been sentenced to two years in prison for killing her family's pet hamster. She was obviously not smart enough to cover up the crime with the genius mechanism called "buying a new one that looks exactly like the one before".

Well, that's all I have for today! Sorry, I will definitely have more tomorrow!

Monday, March 8, 2010

"Destroyed By Fire"

A historic metal forge in Pennsylvania that made ashtrays for the Hinderberg was destroyed by fire. That's like the local fireworks factory being destroyed by random explosions.

Armed robbers stormed a televised poker tournament in Germany and stole the $1.36 Million pot. Police were then baffled when the robbers were caught and they said, "Hit me".

A Washington man suffered minor injuries when the steering wheel came off his 1978 Buick. It's official. I'm traveling by bicycle from now on.

A Japanese Princess has been having problems being bullied at her elementary school. The problem is that she isn't actually a princess, she just dresses like one.

An 11 year old boy in Azerbaijan bought nine homes in Dubai for $44 Million. The sad part: an 11 year old boy from Azerbaijan has more money than the entire United States.

The Knicks missed all 18 three point shots they attempted in an NBA game last week. Strangely enough, that's the best they've played all season.

The football coach at Texas A&M-Commerce, Guy Morris, says he is "proud" of his players who took all the campus newspapers that had an article about drug abuse by the football team. Apparently they needed all those newspapers because all the coffee tables were taken.

Golfer Mark Calcavecchia says Tiger Woods changed his cell phone number five times last year. Calcavecchia also said that Woods had to change his Fave 5 every week.

This is National School Breakfast Week. This makes the other 51 weeks of the year "National Skip Breakfast Week".

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been accused, for the second time in a year of sexual misconduct. I guess he's doing a good job of living up to the name "Steelers".

March 9th is "Get Over It Day". Oh, it's not that bad. Stop whining.

Australia is producing underwear with 27% banana fiber. Don't men already have a banana in their pants?

Well, these are some great jokes (I think), so I hope you enjoyed.