My Tweet On Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

I have officially entered the Late Night scene! How about it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alex Schubert in the New York Times

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/30/your-jokes-smoked-salmon-flavored-vodka/

The Joke
The F.D.A. says that airline food is often prepared in unsafe and unsanitary conditions. Otherwise known as “airplanes.”


Other Great Jokes
Larry King is quitting his show after 25 years. He said he wanted to thank the source of his support for all those years: his suspenders. – Israel Carrasco, Anaheim, Calif.

“Toy Story 3” is tops at the box office. The movie is guaranteed to have you on the edge of your seat. The little kid behind you won’t stop kicking the chair. – Alan Ray, Stockton, Calif.

The F.B.I. recently arrested alleged Russian deep-cover agents living and working in the United States. Despite their sophisticated schemes to appear as regular American citizens, authorities grew suspicious of the group after discovering they all had jobs. – Clint Thatcher, Denver

The Alaska Distillery in Wasilla has unveiled its new spirit – smoked salmon-flavored vodka. Sounds like just the thing to get your date in the mood to spawn. – Paul Seaburn, Spring, Tex.

Alex Schubert in the Laughlines Blog

38th time!

The joke:
The White House budget director will be leaving his job next month. Wait, he’s still there?


Other jokes from my fellow writers:
A Harry Potter theme park has opened near Orlando. The magic is just incredible. In a matter of seconds, the guy at the ticket window can make your money disappear. – Alan Ray, Stockton, Calif.

It turns out Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson are friends, and they may perform in a joint concert. And by joint, I mean together. — Israel Carrasco, Anaheim, Calif.

Alex Schubert in the NYT Laughlines Blog - 37

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/20/your-jokes-impersonating-a-congressman/

The Joke:
Campbell’s is recalling 15 million pounds of Spaghetti O's with undercooked meatballs. Uh-oh!

Other Great Jokes:
Tony Hayward’s disingenuousness was so complete he was in danger of being charged with impersonating a Congressman. – Will Durst, San Francisco

BP’s chairman said its C.E.O., Tony Hayward, is being relieved of the day-to-day responsibilities of managing the gulf oil spill. Mr. Hayward will instead become England’s new goalkeeper. – Israel Carrasco, Anaheim, Calif.

A study says that only 13 percent of the meals in American homes are prepared by men. And even then they’re usually served by the Burger King, Ronald McDonald or the Colonel. – Jim Barach, Charleston, W. Va.

Alex Schubert in the New York Times Blog

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/27/your-jokes-identifying-sarcasm/

The Joke:
A West Virginia man set his house on fire after he returned home to find his wife did not have dinner ready for him. His wife said, “I hope you like burnt pork roast.”

Other great jokes:
Britney Spears wants her body cryogenically frozen so she can be brought back to life later. Just what she needs: another meltdown. – Bill Littlejohn, South Lake Tahoe, Calif.

A computer algorithm capable of identifying sarcasm in written text has been developed. Like that would ever be worth anything. – Jim-Bob Williams, St. Albans, W. Va.

The Cartoon Network is planning a campaign to teach children how to deal with bullies. First, you clobber them on the head with an oversize hammer, throw them off a cliff and then blow them up with an exploding cigar. – Jim Barach, Charleston, W. Va.

The N.F.L. had its spring meeting this week, and some big changes are in store for the upcoming season. They’re going to resurrect the Houston Oilers and have them play the New Orleans Dispersants. – Bill Mihalic, Rochester, Mich.

Alex Schubert in the Laughlines Blog

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/21/your-jokes-no-embarrassing-gaffes/

Lots of jokes were featured. Also, congrats to comedy writing friends Jerry Perisho, Will Durst, Alan Ray, Neil Berliner, and Janice Hough for making it as well!

Alex Schubert in the NYT Laughlines Blog

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/08/your-jokes-please-hold-the-line/

Featured joke! Also one of my best jokes ever!

Alex Schubert in the Laughlines Blog

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/28/your-jokes-palin-at-a-karaoke-bar/

My 33rd Laughlines Blog Post!

Alex Schubert in the New York Times Laughlines Blog - 32nd time!

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/26/your-jokes-new-slogan-for-tab/

I'm on fire! 3rd in a row!!!!!!!!!!!

Laughlines Blog - 31st

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/24/your-jokes-i-saved-energy/

Laughlines blog - 30th anniversary

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/22/your-jokes-all-the-wrong-notes/

Happy 30th anniversary to me!

Laughlines Blog - 29

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/17/biden-gave-only-1-44/

Awesome - #29!

28th Laughlines Post - Headline Joke!!!!!!!

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/07/high-and-outside/

Laughlines post - # 27

I loved this joke!

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/25/lizard-tripe/

NYT Laughlines Blog - #24!

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/17/phil-spector-is-appealing/

This is the 24th time that I've made the Laughlines Blog! I'm getting good at this!

Laughlines Blog!

http://community.nytimes.com/comments/laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/15/le-whif/

I'm awesome!

Just made the Laughlines Blog!

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/25/olympics-fever/

It was also the featured joke when you search my name!

Laughlines Blog - My 20th!!!

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/17/a-notable-no-show/

The 20th time I've made the Laughlines Blog!!!!!!!!! - It's the last one!

I made the Laughlines Blog!

This morning, for the 19th time, I made the NY Times Laughlines Blog!

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/10/the-gloves-are-off/

Just made the Laughlines Blog!

I just made the Laughlines blog this morning!

http://laughlines.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/03/i-am-overwhelmed/

Congratulations to me, Alan Ray, Jerry Perisho, and Will Durst for making it as well!