Sarah Palin is visiting sites of historical significance. In other words, she won't be going to her house for awhile.
The used car salesman who sold cars to Ohio St. quarterback Terrelle Pryor swears the athlete did not get special deals. Just think; why would a used car salesman ever lie to you?
A Zimbabwe policeman was arrested for using the personal toilet of President Robert Mugabe. Apparently the shit missed the toilet, and hit the fan.
Researchers say allergy medicine could be making people fat. These researchers obviously know that I have a prescription for Zyrtec.
The Kardashian sisters are working on a novel, with the name getting to be chosen by their fans. The leading candidate: Crayons Sold Separately.
A new drug that treats premature ejaculation is showing promise in testing. Unfortunately, they weren't supposed to tell us that for another two weeks.
A study says that kids with bad asthma are more likely to have food allergies than kids who don't. For example, most kids with asthma have a severe allergy to vegetables.
Snooki from “Jersey Shore” lost her license when she hit a police car in Italy. That's a change. Snooki ramming someone else?
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie recently rode in a helicopter to his son's baseball game. Man, that must be one exhausted helicopter.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Showing posts with label Toilets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Toilets. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
"Encouraging Couples"
Monday is the start of National Condom Week. Oh, and it just happens to be Valentine's Day tomorrow. Coincidence?
Friday night’s NHL game between the Pittsburgh Penguins and New York Islanders featured 346 penalty minutes, 10 ejections, 15 fighting majors, and 20 misconducts. Said one fan, "I felt like I was in Egypt".
This Valentine’s Day, First Lady Michelle Obama is encouraging couples to laugh with their partners. In other words, she encouraged couples not to read my jokes.
A poll says Iran and North Korea are Americans’ least favorite countries. Ironically, Iran and North Korea are the two countries whose dictators are most likely to have a mental disease.
John Daly is using a TV built right into his golf bag to display advertising. Considering it's John Daly, I wonder what's going to be advertised.
Osama bin Laden’s cook had his sentence reduced from 14 years to just two. His crime: not poisoning Bin Laden's food.
President Obama wants to cut $2.5 Billion from the $5 Billion home heating program for the poor. Talk about frozen spending.
Michael Vick is going to appear on the Oprah Winfrey show. Oprah is already planning to give everyone a free dead dog.
A new study says that eating fiber may lead to a longer life. However, this study does not apply to your toilet.
A former Hungarian military officer has been charged with war crimes in the 1942 slaughter of 1,200 civilians in Serbia. He has been given a harsh prison sentence; five weeks to life.
McDonald’s saw a 5.3% growth in January. Of their customers' stomachs.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Friday night’s NHL game between the Pittsburgh Penguins and New York Islanders featured 346 penalty minutes, 10 ejections, 15 fighting majors, and 20 misconducts. Said one fan, "I felt like I was in Egypt".
This Valentine’s Day, First Lady Michelle Obama is encouraging couples to laugh with their partners. In other words, she encouraged couples not to read my jokes.
A poll says Iran and North Korea are Americans’ least favorite countries. Ironically, Iran and North Korea are the two countries whose dictators are most likely to have a mental disease.
John Daly is using a TV built right into his golf bag to display advertising. Considering it's John Daly, I wonder what's going to be advertised.
Osama bin Laden’s cook had his sentence reduced from 14 years to just two. His crime: not poisoning Bin Laden's food.
President Obama wants to cut $2.5 Billion from the $5 Billion home heating program for the poor. Talk about frozen spending.
Michael Vick is going to appear on the Oprah Winfrey show. Oprah is already planning to give everyone a free dead dog.
A new study says that eating fiber may lead to a longer life. However, this study does not apply to your toilet.
A former Hungarian military officer has been charged with war crimes in the 1942 slaughter of 1,200 civilians in Serbia. He has been given a harsh prison sentence; five weeks to life.
McDonald’s saw a 5.3% growth in January. Of their customers' stomachs.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
"Female-Only Toilets"
Toyota president Akio Toyoda testified before a Congressional committee on the recent troubles with the company’s cars. He also begged Congress to let him get a legal name change.
Carter’s, the baby apparel company, named a new board member, Wednesday. The company liked the success that he had at eTrade.
Starting next month, Japans All Nippon Airways will provide female-only toilets on most international flights. The main difference is that the seat puts itself down.
A new study finds that eating a lot of fat, especially the kind that's in cookies and pastries, can significantly raise the risk of stroke for women over 50. This study also suggested that Osama was behind 9/11 and that teenage pregnancy is up.
A study says that faces can give away a person's political party affiliation. For example, you can tell someone is Republican if their face has tears on it.
A study says that cigarette smokers have lower IQs than non-smokers. Their IQs are especially lower when it comes to the dangers of smoking.
R&B star Chris Brown doesn’t think anyone has the right to judge Tiger Woods. Who's going to defend him next? John Edwards?
Lindsay Lohan said that her love of women "surprised her". No, not that she loved women, but that anyone would love her back.
That's all I have for today, and I hope to have better jokes tomorrow!
Carter’s, the baby apparel company, named a new board member, Wednesday. The company liked the success that he had at eTrade.
Starting next month, Japans All Nippon Airways will provide female-only toilets on most international flights. The main difference is that the seat puts itself down.
A new study finds that eating a lot of fat, especially the kind that's in cookies and pastries, can significantly raise the risk of stroke for women over 50. This study also suggested that Osama was behind 9/11 and that teenage pregnancy is up.
A study says that faces can give away a person's political party affiliation. For example, you can tell someone is Republican if their face has tears on it.
A study says that cigarette smokers have lower IQs than non-smokers. Their IQs are especially lower when it comes to the dangers of smoking.
R&B star Chris Brown doesn’t think anyone has the right to judge Tiger Woods. Who's going to defend him next? John Edwards?
Lindsay Lohan said that her love of women "surprised her". No, not that she loved women, but that anyone would love her back.
That's all I have for today, and I hope to have better jokes tomorrow!
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