Friday is National Grammar Day. I be celebratin' later tonight.
National Geographic Magazine says the most typical person in the world is a 28-year-old Chinese man. Great, so the typical person in the world sucks at driving.
Northwestern University is investigating a psychology professor who allowed a couple to have sex in front of a class of students. It wasn't a problem until fat people got involved.
BYU center Brandon Davies was suspended for the rest of the season for having sex. If this rule applied to the NBA, it would no longer exist.
Charlie Sheen paid $6,500 back in 1996 to buy all the left field bleacher seats at an Angels game to try to guarantee catching a home run ball. He should go to Wrigley Field and do that. There is guaranteed to hit a home run there every game. Of course, all of them are by the visiting team.
A government survey says there is a segment of the population that are over 40 and still virgins. We know, government. Steve Carell was in a movie about that.
New Jersey governor Chris Christie called Illinois governor Pat Quinn "a disaster". If Quinn is a disaster, then what does that make his predecessor, Rod Blagojevich?
The government has announced that they are cutting government programs that they are cutting redundant porgrams. My personal favorite was the Health Care Department of Health Care.
A report says that the crime rate on Twitter was up 20% last year. Expect that number to increase now that Charlie Sheen has registered.
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Showing posts with label Redundant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Redundant. Show all posts
Friday, March 4, 2011
Friday, September 3, 2010
"Agreed To Sell Itself"
Burger King agreed to sell itself for $3.26 billion. Or, as Burger King calls it, "One billion whoppers".
A new study in LA County says that 98% of restaurants pass health inspections. The other 2% are named, "The Sizzler".
A survey says that 72% of adults are texting now. The other 28% of adults do not own a cell phone.
A study says that 25% of the people working now were unemployed at some point during the recession. The other 75% of people are what scientists call "a kiss-ass".
A new study finds that some users of the weight-loss pill Meridia may have an increased risk of heart attack or stroke. Isn't that what it's supposed to prevent?
People who take bone-strengthening drugs for several years may have a slightly higher risk of esophageal cancer, a new study suggests. Patients on those drugs find this concept difficult to swallow.
Ben Roethlisberger's suspension has been reduced from six to four games. And all this time he liked hearing, "You've been very bad".
Canadian parents are more lenient with their children than mothers and fathers in France and Italy, according to a new study. Especially when it comes to dating advice.
A Japanese man drove the wrong way down an expressway for 55 miles. In related news, Asia has given him "Driver of the Year Award".
That's all I have for today! More coming later!
A new study in LA County says that 98% of restaurants pass health inspections. The other 2% are named, "The Sizzler".
A survey says that 72% of adults are texting now. The other 28% of adults do not own a cell phone.
A study says that 25% of the people working now were unemployed at some point during the recession. The other 75% of people are what scientists call "a kiss-ass".
A new study finds that some users of the weight-loss pill Meridia may have an increased risk of heart attack or stroke. Isn't that what it's supposed to prevent?
People who take bone-strengthening drugs for several years may have a slightly higher risk of esophageal cancer, a new study suggests. Patients on those drugs find this concept difficult to swallow.
Ben Roethlisberger's suspension has been reduced from six to four games. And all this time he liked hearing, "You've been very bad".
Canadian parents are more lenient with their children than mothers and fathers in France and Italy, according to a new study. Especially when it comes to dating advice.
A Japanese man drove the wrong way down an expressway for 55 miles. In related news, Asia has given him "Driver of the Year Award".
That's all I have for today! More coming later!
Monday, June 21, 2010
"Imported Australian Honeybees"
Joke of the Day: Tiger Woods played the last 15 holes in 7-under and reverted to his fist-pumping ways as he poured in putts from seemingly everywhere. No news story screams "That's what she said" louder than this one.
British Petroleum handed the job of repairing its image off to an American in hopes that US citizens will be able to better relate. They won't do anything, and when they do, they are unsuccessful. They couldn't relate to Americans any better.
Scientists believe imported Australian honeybees may be responsible to the declining numbers of bees in this country. Isn't it a little redundant when bringing more bees in the country actually brings their population down?
In New York, a door-to-door vacuum salesman was charged with damaging a homeowner’s $1,300 bed mattress. The salesman will be sued for the price of the mattress, also known as his life savings.
In northeastern Pennsylvania, rattlesnake rustlers are rounding up snakes for a big annual carnival. It's no big deal. It's nothing but a bunch of insurance companies with booths.
Actress Angelina Jolie has quietly returned to Haiti for meetings with Haitian and U.N. officials. Haitians were skeptical until they saw Jolie with a large stack of adoption papers.
A wildfire in Arizona forced hundreds to evacuate. In response, Arizona said, "Wait, by hundreds, please tell me you mean hundreds of Mexicans.".
That's all for right now! More later!
British Petroleum handed the job of repairing its image off to an American in hopes that US citizens will be able to better relate. They won't do anything, and when they do, they are unsuccessful. They couldn't relate to Americans any better.
Scientists believe imported Australian honeybees may be responsible to the declining numbers of bees in this country. Isn't it a little redundant when bringing more bees in the country actually brings their population down?
In New York, a door-to-door vacuum salesman was charged with damaging a homeowner’s $1,300 bed mattress. The salesman will be sued for the price of the mattress, also known as his life savings.
In northeastern Pennsylvania, rattlesnake rustlers are rounding up snakes for a big annual carnival. It's no big deal. It's nothing but a bunch of insurance companies with booths.
Actress Angelina Jolie has quietly returned to Haiti for meetings with Haitian and U.N. officials. Haitians were skeptical until they saw Jolie with a large stack of adoption papers.
A wildfire in Arizona forced hundreds to evacuate. In response, Arizona said, "Wait, by hundreds, please tell me you mean hundreds of Mexicans.".
That's all for right now! More later!
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