A 1939 comic book with the debut of Batman has sold for $1 Million. However, when he saw the price on the cover, he asked for a refund of $999,999.90.
The California Legislature is voting to declare a profanity free week. So far the vote is 50/50. Half said "aye" and the other half said "F*** no".
Toyota Chief Akio Toyoda toured a company plant in Kentucky and says the company is at a crossroads. Wait, Kentucky has roads?
Detroit high schools are teaching students how to get entry level jobs at Wal-Mart. My Chemistry teacher, Mr. Venditto, is doing the exact same thing with my class. He doesn't think we know the element Lead like we should.
Detroit high schools are teaching students how to get entry level jobs at Wal-Mart. It's called a Kindergarten diploma.
A government panel is now recommending that virtually all Americans get a flu shot each year, starting this fall. Except, of course, for Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney.
A Bollywood filmmaker has issued a lucrative challenge to horror movie fans: a $10,000 reward for anyone who can watch his latest supernatural thriller, alone, in a cinema until the closing credits. I'm assuming the film is really scary or really crappy.
Lawyers for U.S. pop singer Prince agreed Friday to pay substantial damages for his unexplained cancellation of a 2008 concert in Ireland's largest stadium. I guess nobody had the heart to tell him that he can't sing anymore.
The Minnesota Vikings are apparently "OK" while Brett Favre decides whether he wants to return or not. No wonder they are OK with it. They've gotten used to that every year.
Growing Pains star Andrew Koenig had a long battle with depression before his apparent suicide. Somebody should have told him a long time ago to stop watching reruns of Growing Pains.
Shaquille O'Neal sustained a "significant" right thumb sprain that forced him to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers' game Thursday night against Boston. This wasn't all bad for the Cavs. At least Shaq didn't have to get fouled.
Desiree Rogers is stepping down from her post as social secretary, effective next month, two White House aides said Friday. However, her contribution level will not change.
That's it for today! Definitely more tomorrow!
Showing posts with label Venditto. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Venditto. Show all posts
Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
"Worst Actress Of The Decade"
Hello everyone! Here are my monologue jokes for today!
Bill Buckner said he would have used steroids, were they available. Seriously though, hasn't he had enough problems with balls between his legs?
A Slovenian who saved his three dogs from being put down for attacking humans was himself mauled to death by them. Obviously those dogs were suicidal and they wanted to die.
Former teen idol Leif Garrett posted a $10,000 bond Wednesday after spending two days in a jail on a drug charge. Geez, after all these drug arrests, don't you think he would be called "Marijuana Leif" Garrett?
Madonna and Mariah Carey are both nominees for "worst actress of the decade" by Rozzie's. Who's the winner? Starts with an M... (Thanks to my chemistry teacher Mr. Venditto for inspiration)
A study says that reactions are faster than actions. Woah, who said that? Cool! (15 seconds later) I think I'm going to write a joke about that study.
A British plastic surgeons group reports that the number of male breast reductions rose by 80 percent from 2008 to 2009. Do you think it has anything to do with this obesity thing?
Madonna is such a fan of coconut water that she’s invested nearly $1.5 million in Vita Coca, a company that makes the drink. Talk about terrible endorsements by terrible musicians...
You can now buy a $9,000 beautiful female sex robot. Tiger Woods has already been named a spokesman.
New York Knicks Coach Mike D'Antoni says he's "really encouraged" by the Knicks' progress. If they continue at this rapid of a pace, people actually might start coming to their games.
A teenager in New Zealand auctioned off her virginity for $32,000 to pay for her tuition. In a related story, Tiger Woods offered to pay her $7,000 tuition, and $25,000 to keep quiet.
Well, that's it everyone! Thanks for reading and I hope you all really enjoyed it!
Bill Buckner said he would have used steroids, were they available. Seriously though, hasn't he had enough problems with balls between his legs?
A Slovenian who saved his three dogs from being put down for attacking humans was himself mauled to death by them. Obviously those dogs were suicidal and they wanted to die.
Former teen idol Leif Garrett posted a $10,000 bond Wednesday after spending two days in a jail on a drug charge. Geez, after all these drug arrests, don't you think he would be called "Marijuana Leif" Garrett?
Madonna and Mariah Carey are both nominees for "worst actress of the decade" by Rozzie's. Who's the winner? Starts with an M... (Thanks to my chemistry teacher Mr. Venditto for inspiration)
A study says that reactions are faster than actions. Woah, who said that? Cool! (15 seconds later) I think I'm going to write a joke about that study.
A British plastic surgeons group reports that the number of male breast reductions rose by 80 percent from 2008 to 2009. Do you think it has anything to do with this obesity thing?
Madonna is such a fan of coconut water that she’s invested nearly $1.5 million in Vita Coca, a company that makes the drink. Talk about terrible endorsements by terrible musicians...
You can now buy a $9,000 beautiful female sex robot. Tiger Woods has already been named a spokesman.
New York Knicks Coach Mike D'Antoni says he's "really encouraged" by the Knicks' progress. If they continue at this rapid of a pace, people actually might start coming to their games.
A teenager in New Zealand auctioned off her virginity for $32,000 to pay for her tuition. In a related story, Tiger Woods offered to pay her $7,000 tuition, and $25,000 to keep quiet.
Well, that's it everyone! Thanks for reading and I hope you all really enjoyed it!
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