An Israeli court has sentenced a dog to be stoned to death. In America, we call being stoned to death "An overdose".
A report says that Afghanistan is the most dangerous place in the world for women. Coming in a close second: the Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room.
A study says that one in three people regret a past tweet or post on the Internet. The other two people pretty much have nothing to lose.
Anthony Weiner has been offered a cameo role on "Entourage". Seriously though, the last thing he needs right now is to be in front of a camera.
A study says that smells can affect people's behavior. This explains why New Jersey is in such turmoil.
Amy Winehouse was booed at a concert recently because she appeared "too drunk to sing". Too drunk to sing? That woman is too drunk to function.
One of Hillary Clinton's former interns has become a porn star. What is it with the Clintons and slutty interns?
Jackass star Ryan Dunn has died at the age of 34 in a car crash. His last words were, "Did you guys get that on camera?".
That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!
Showing posts with label Pittsburgh Steelers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pittsburgh Steelers. Show all posts
Monday, June 20, 2011
Monday, September 20, 2010
"Contagious Yawning"
Republican Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell says she dabbled in witchcraft more than a decade ago in high school. Larry King even remembers the days when witchcraft was punishable by death.
The American woman who was held in Iran for more than 13 months says she is not a spy. To which Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said, "Oh, that's what they all say".
The NFL says members of the New York Jets behaved unprofessionally toward a female reporter. This even angered the Pittsburgh Steelers. They said, "You can't do that. That's our job".
The world famous soccer fan who said that she promised to run through the streets naked if Paraguay won the World Cup is featured in Playboy in Brazil. One way or another, we knew she was desperate to get naked.
The Montana GOP is endorsing a law that would make homosexual acts illegal. In other words, nobody in Montana is allowed to run for Senate, become a priest, or watch Glee.
Scientists have completed their genetic mapping of the cacao tree which accounts for most of the world’s chocolate. Coming in second place: the stomachs of Americans.
The new CBS show “Mike and Molly” is about two overweight people who meet at an Overeaters’ Anonymous meeting. Mainly because they were the only two people who were able to fit into the room.
A study says that children with autism are immune to contagious yawning. This is great news for me! Now I don't have to be bored like everyone else!
That's all I have for today! More coming tomorrow!
The American woman who was held in Iran for more than 13 months says she is not a spy. To which Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said, "Oh, that's what they all say".
The NFL says members of the New York Jets behaved unprofessionally toward a female reporter. This even angered the Pittsburgh Steelers. They said, "You can't do that. That's our job".
The world famous soccer fan who said that she promised to run through the streets naked if Paraguay won the World Cup is featured in Playboy in Brazil. One way or another, we knew she was desperate to get naked.
The Montana GOP is endorsing a law that would make homosexual acts illegal. In other words, nobody in Montana is allowed to run for Senate, become a priest, or watch Glee.
Scientists have completed their genetic mapping of the cacao tree which accounts for most of the world’s chocolate. Coming in second place: the stomachs of Americans.
The new CBS show “Mike and Molly” is about two overweight people who meet at an Overeaters’ Anonymous meeting. Mainly because they were the only two people who were able to fit into the room.
A study says that children with autism are immune to contagious yawning. This is great news for me! Now I don't have to be bored like everyone else!
That's all I have for today! More coming tomorrow!
Monday, May 3, 2010
"Toyota Express"
Joke of the Day: Jon Gosselin reportedly was offered a spot on the next season of “Dancing With the Stars". The offer was rebuked when ABC discovered that Jon Gosselin wasn't actually a star.
This is National Pet Week. Or, as Michael Vick calls it, "My Week Off".
Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa wants to boycott Arizona for creating its offensive new immigration law. Believe me, I can't think of anyone better to boycott the immigration law than a guy named Antonio.
Cell phone sales have gone up 22% as the economy recovers. Apparently the auto industry is whipping itself back into shape as well.
One third of pet owning women say their pet is a better listener than their husband. The other two thirds of pet owning women own pets that are deaf.
Researchers say the iPad can cause insomnia. That's because iPad users are using their devices all night.
A study says that high speeds and sudden turns on roller coasters can cause hearing damage. The study was conducted at that unbelievably intense ride, "Toyota Express".
Former NFL running back Corey Dillon has been arrested on suspicion of assaulting his wife during an argument at their Southern California home. Dillon was then offered a contract by the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Two of the oldest people in the world have died on the same day. The funerals will feature eulogies from their old babysitter, Larry King.
That's all for today! I have more coming tomorrow!
This is National Pet Week. Or, as Michael Vick calls it, "My Week Off".
Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa wants to boycott Arizona for creating its offensive new immigration law. Believe me, I can't think of anyone better to boycott the immigration law than a guy named Antonio.
Cell phone sales have gone up 22% as the economy recovers. Apparently the auto industry is whipping itself back into shape as well.
One third of pet owning women say their pet is a better listener than their husband. The other two thirds of pet owning women own pets that are deaf.
Researchers say the iPad can cause insomnia. That's because iPad users are using their devices all night.
A study says that high speeds and sudden turns on roller coasters can cause hearing damage. The study was conducted at that unbelievably intense ride, "Toyota Express".
Former NFL running back Corey Dillon has been arrested on suspicion of assaulting his wife during an argument at their Southern California home. Dillon was then offered a contract by the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Two of the oldest people in the world have died on the same day. The funerals will feature eulogies from their old babysitter, Larry King.
That's all for today! I have more coming tomorrow!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
"A Hoax Weapon Of Mass Destruction"
The wife of Congressman John Conyers has been sentenced to three years in prison for bribery. To which she said, "If anyone helps me find a way out of jail, I'll give them five thousand bucks".
Kansas City, Missouri is planning on closing nearly half its public schools because of money problems. I'm not sure that one public school closing is all that big of a deal...
A study says that good health is equated to more senior sex. I don't care if they're healthy, I really don't want to see that.
Senator John McCain is abandoning his own bill that would increase regulations over diet supplements. So Obama really should try to improve his cholestorol FAST.
Carlos Slim Helu of Mexico is now the world’s richest man. See, not all Mexicans have minimum wage jobs.
A poll says that President Obama is more popular than Congress. This isn't that big of a deal. I mean come on, al-Qaida is more popular in Congress.
A poll says that President Obama is more popular than Congress. Apparently strippers and gay people were not allowed to vote.
Unemployment rose in thirty states in January. The other twenty didn't have jobs to start with.
Virginia has become the first state to ban mandatory health insurance. They were also the first US state on the Republican mortal enemy list.
The Obama Administration is considering helping airlines meet the cost of modernizing the air traffic control system. All the Obama Administration needs to do is buy two pillows and a blanket.
A college student in Florida has been charged with making a hoax weapon of mass destruction when he put fake dynamite on the seat of a Toyota. Heh, at this rate, a Toyota by itself is a weapon of mass destruction.
Charlie Sheen is out of rehab. He will likely be able to once again start taping his TV show Two and a Half Men. The twist is, though, that Charlie is the half man.
The Pittsburgh Steelers are offering a new version of the Terrible Towel to female fans. It will be used to dry their husbands' tears when the Steelers choke.
A federal appeals court in San Francisco upheld the use of the words "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance and "In God We Trust" on U.S. currency. After all, who else to remove those words from daily life than the city farthest from him...
That's it, everybody! Definitely more tomorrow!
Kansas City, Missouri is planning on closing nearly half its public schools because of money problems. I'm not sure that one public school closing is all that big of a deal...
A study says that good health is equated to more senior sex. I don't care if they're healthy, I really don't want to see that.
Senator John McCain is abandoning his own bill that would increase regulations over diet supplements. So Obama really should try to improve his cholestorol FAST.
Carlos Slim Helu of Mexico is now the world’s richest man. See, not all Mexicans have minimum wage jobs.
A poll says that President Obama is more popular than Congress. This isn't that big of a deal. I mean come on, al-Qaida is more popular in Congress.
A poll says that President Obama is more popular than Congress. Apparently strippers and gay people were not allowed to vote.
Unemployment rose in thirty states in January. The other twenty didn't have jobs to start with.
Virginia has become the first state to ban mandatory health insurance. They were also the first US state on the Republican mortal enemy list.
The Obama Administration is considering helping airlines meet the cost of modernizing the air traffic control system. All the Obama Administration needs to do is buy two pillows and a blanket.
A college student in Florida has been charged with making a hoax weapon of mass destruction when he put fake dynamite on the seat of a Toyota. Heh, at this rate, a Toyota by itself is a weapon of mass destruction.
Charlie Sheen is out of rehab. He will likely be able to once again start taping his TV show Two and a Half Men. The twist is, though, that Charlie is the half man.
The Pittsburgh Steelers are offering a new version of the Terrible Towel to female fans. It will be used to dry their husbands' tears when the Steelers choke.
A federal appeals court in San Francisco upheld the use of the words "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance and "In God We Trust" on U.S. currency. After all, who else to remove those words from daily life than the city farthest from him...
That's it, everybody! Definitely more tomorrow!
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