Showing posts with label Kara DioGuardi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kara DioGuardi. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

"Writing A Memoir"

Dec. 1, 1891, James Naismith invented basketball.  Basketball has existed for 121 years, and the Nets still don't know how to play.

A Harvard University doctor has shown that aging can be reversed in mice.  In Los Angeles, they call that "Plastic surgery".

Snoop Dogg will perform at Prince William’s bachelor’s party.  It's a good idea.  The person in the world with nothing better to do will host Snoop Dogg at his wedding.

Tony Parker’s attorney quit in the middle of his divorce from Eva Longoria.  It's like he plays for the Cincinnati Bengals.

No major hurricanes hit the U.S, mainland for the fifth straight year, despite twelve hurricanes forming in the Atlantic Basin.  So despite several signs that something major would happen, nothing really did.  Kind of like Obama's presidency.

More than eight million people stopped using credit cards last year.  What use do credit cards have if they don't have any money?

Guns will soon be allowed on Amtrak trains.  Or, as people who are full of themselves call them, arms.

An economist says that house prices will “bounce along the bottom” for most of next year.  Kind of like the economy.

A report says that more teens are getting their high school diplomas.  Of course, a high school diploma now is the equivalent of an elementary school education thirty years ago.

The UK is going to limit the export of a drug that is used in executions in the U.S.  Instead of the drugs, the UK is going to send the US their food.

Tiger Woods’ story is going to be dramatized on NBC’s “Law & Order”.  "Law & Order": the two things most lacking in the NFL.

A study says that good looks may actually hurt women in a job interview.  Unless you work in porn.

Kara DioGuardi is writing a memoir of her time as a judge on “American Idol”.  This is another step in the "Anybody Can Write A Book" list.

Kid Rock says that scalpers are ruining his birthday party by buying tickets and reselling them for a higher price.  Of course, how do we know that Kid Rock tickets have any value?

That's all I have for today!  More tomorrow!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

"Moving To Florida"

After years of growth, Las Vegas is losing people who can't find work and think they will have better luck elsewhere. No wonder they have so many hookers.

A survey says that many Americans don't realize how fat they are. Maybe because we are too lazy to go to the doctor and find out.

The Balloon Boy's family is moving to Florida from Colorado. Of course, the six-year old boy will travel all by himself without his family knowing where he is.

A historian says that Winston Churchill targeted Benito Mussolini for assassination to cover for some embarrassing letters he wrote the Italian leader. If this applied today, Tiger Woods would have murdered all his mistresses.

Some German school children were accidentally given some pens with pornographic pictures on them as part of a gift bag from the Communist Party. What happened to the old days where students only saw their teachers naked?

An antidepressant patch does not help smokers quit as it was hoped. How about an anti-smoking patch?

Kara DioGuardi is officially leaving “American Idol”, saying it is the “best time to leave”. What makes it the best time to leave is that everybody else wanted her to leave.

A Consumer Reports survey rates McDonald’s hamburgers as the worst tasting of any chain. This could change the restaurant of choice for up to three people.

Lindsay Lohan bumped into a stroller while driving her Maserati. The question is, why can't people give Lindsay Lohan a car with a breathalyzer?

That's all I have for today! More tomorrow!