"Full Trash Bags"

About 1,300 parishioners of a Catholic Church in New York may have been exposed to hepatitis A through communion on Christmas day. I'm not sure a good Christmas gift is "the gift that keeps on giving".

In an effort to protect children, the latest version of the American classic “Huckleberry Finn” does not contain the “N-word”. They have replaced it with "Non-Caucasian young man".

Elderly people who lose their teeth may be at increased risk for dementia. In other words, elderly people are at increased risk of dementia.

A suicidal New York man jumped from a nine story window on Monday, but he was saved by a pile of full trash bags. That's absurd. NYC trash actually in trash bags?

A ten-year old astronomer was recently been declared the youngest person to ever see an exploding star. He saw Pamela Anderson's breasts.

A new report says that nearly one in three adults could own an iPad by 2015. The other two thirds are grandparents who still think an iPad is a beauty product.

The Cleveland Browns are reportedly looking for a coach who will "lead them to a championship". In other words, they are looking for a man with magical powers.

This just in from the world of technology: the popular iPhone app "Angry Birds" has a new unlockable bird: you launch it, then while it's in its path, you touch it, and it just falls to the ground and dies.

Myspace is planning to lay off up to a half of their 1,100 employees. To put that in perspective, that's 1,100 employees per Myspace user.

A company says it has developed a “less harmful” tobacco. How about a tobacco that isn't harmful at all?

Ranchers are pushing to a return to slaughtering horses for food. Like they say, "You are what you eat".

A study says that nine in ten Americans say their diet is healthy. Of those nine, eight of them followed with, "Hold on. I need to check my blood sugar.".

That's all for right now! More to come later!