A new survey shows that Americans do not know much about religion. That's because all the brainiacs are not religious.
President Obama’s top economic advisor Larry Summers said, “People aren’t going to live with their parents forever.” Hey, Mr. Summers, go to ComicCon and say that.
A Canadian judge struck down that nation’s laws against prostitution. This is great news for all three hookers that live in Canada.
Michael Vick’s jerseys are in demand. Unfortunately, half of the purchases are by dogs who want to rip them to shreds.
Collectible Justin Bieber dolls will be available in toy stores before Christmas. However, there's already a collectible Justin Bieber doll. His name is Ken.
Some Major League Baseball players are criticizing their own fans because low attendance is “disheartening” and “embarrassing”. I don't think it's our fault; the person at fault is the guy who determines ticket prices.
For the second time in two weeks, Kansas City Chiefs defensive end Shaun Smith has been accused of grabbing an opposing player’s genitals. No wonder the Chiefs are horrible; their players are going for the wrong balls.
The United States government apologized for displaying the Philippine flag upside down at an event in New York attended by President Barack Obama on Friday. Another thing Obama hopes is upside down: the graph that shows his approval rating.
TMZ is reporting that Meg Whitman hired an undocumented worker to clean her house. To which Colin Powell said, "I've never heard of such a thing".
One alleged sex victim of of Pastor Long sent a message to him, calling him a “monster”. That's odd. Usually, sex victims of pastors call them "a big stinky doo-doo head".
Downtown Los Angeles reach a record 113 degrees. If only the Dodgers were this hot.
The Census says that marriages were at a record low for 2009 with only 52% of adults in a marriage. Of that 52%, 1% of adults actually give a damn about their spouse.
The Census is reporting a record gap between rich and poor Americans. What's worse is that rich people don't really care.
The southern California heat wave left thousands without power. Soon to be a Californian without power: Arnold Schwarzenegger.
CBS and NBC pulled an upset win at the News and Documentary Emmy Awards over the favored PBS. CBS and NBC won because nobody watches PBS.
Lindsay Lohan is back in rehab, her fifth visit in three years. If she gets five more, she'll have her 11th visit free.
President Obama told an audience he is a Christian by choice. In fact, he was so confident that he swore on the Koran.
The Tampa Bay Rays will give away 20,000 tickets for their last home game of the regular season. This is expected to bring their attendance total to 20,003.
A new law in California makes it illegal to maliciously impersonate someone online. I wonder how the governor of California would get that idea.
Rutgers is starting a two year program to try to get people on campus to behave better. Isn't that called rehab?
That's all for right now! More coming tomorrow!
Congratulations to my Cincinnati Reds for clinching the National League Central! Go Reds!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Showing posts with label MLB. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MLB. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
"Disillusionment And Divorce"
Joke of the Day: A new study says that Detroit, Los Angeles, and Cleveland are the most stressful places to live. Especially if you are a sports fan.
Tropical Storm Hermine, which formed in the western end of the Gulf of Mexico, is expected to reach South Texas by Tuesday. It's almost as if that hurricane is oil.
A study says that happiness can increase with a person’s income, up to about $75,000. And they said money can't buy happiness.
President Obama is getting fewer judges seated than any President since Richard Nixon because of Republican stall tactics. And when it comes to stall tactics, who is any better than Republicans?
The attorney for the JetBlue flight attendant who had a meltdown on board a plane says his client resigned and was not fired. Who is this guy, a Major League Baseball manager after a bad call?
Many companies are allowing employees to take naps at work to increase production. One of the companies included: the White House.
Joe Jackson is defending how he disciplined Michael as a child, saying he was so strict in order to keep him out of neighborhood gangs. Unfortunately, he wasn't strict enough to keep him from working at a day care center.
A study has found that people who believe they are “soul mates” are at a high risk for disillusionment and divorce. This study was conducted in Hollywood.
A Toronto Blue Jays fan was hit by a letter falling from a sign. The letter was "F", and it came from the Blue Jays' report card.
Scientists say they have found a new species of turtle in Mississippi. Apparently this turtle is different because it reproduces inside the family.
New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush may have his Heisman trophy taken away from him. It's the first time that something of great value was taken away from Reggie and not given to him.
That's all I have for today! More coming tomorrow!
Tropical Storm Hermine, which formed in the western end of the Gulf of Mexico, is expected to reach South Texas by Tuesday. It's almost as if that hurricane is oil.
A study says that happiness can increase with a person’s income, up to about $75,000. And they said money can't buy happiness.
President Obama is getting fewer judges seated than any President since Richard Nixon because of Republican stall tactics. And when it comes to stall tactics, who is any better than Republicans?
The attorney for the JetBlue flight attendant who had a meltdown on board a plane says his client resigned and was not fired. Who is this guy, a Major League Baseball manager after a bad call?
Many companies are allowing employees to take naps at work to increase production. One of the companies included: the White House.
Joe Jackson is defending how he disciplined Michael as a child, saying he was so strict in order to keep him out of neighborhood gangs. Unfortunately, he wasn't strict enough to keep him from working at a day care center.
A study has found that people who believe they are “soul mates” are at a high risk for disillusionment and divorce. This study was conducted in Hollywood.
A Toronto Blue Jays fan was hit by a letter falling from a sign. The letter was "F", and it came from the Blue Jays' report card.
Scientists say they have found a new species of turtle in Mississippi. Apparently this turtle is different because it reproduces inside the family.
New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush may have his Heisman trophy taken away from him. It's the first time that something of great value was taken away from Reggie and not given to him.
That's all I have for today! More coming tomorrow!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
"Dead Last In Health Care"
Joke of the Day: People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has offered to rebuild a lightning-struck 62-foot-tall Jesus statue in Ohio as long as it carries a message about vegetarianism. Isn't it weird how an advertisement on vegetarianism would be displayed on a man who fed fish to five thousand people?
The Society for Invertebrate Conservation wants the bumblebee in southern Oregon added to the endangered species list. For once, I'd be glad to see an animal on the endangered species list.
A poll says 62% of Americans say the country is headed in the wrong direction. The other 38% of Americans don't follow the news.
Health officials are advising against swimming in the water off Pensacola, Florida because of the Gulf oil spill. They also advised against putting a key in a light socket.
A report says the U.S. is dead last in health care, spending more while getting less. They got this idea from going to a major league baseball game.
A man who apparently passed out drunk on a pool float at a Tampa area beach ended up drifting about a mile into the Gulf of Mexico before being rescued by the Coast Guard. Ironically, the last people to hear about this story: BP.
Post office officials in Germany have reduced dog attacks on mailmen by using animal psychologists to help them think like dogs. Strangely enough, now all they do is bite themselves.
The Naked Cowboy, who performs in a cowboy hat and briefs on Times Square in New York, is suing a woman who calls herself the Naked Cowgirl and performs in a bikini. The judge has ruled that neither one of them are actually naked.
A South Carolina town is considering a law that would make it illegal to sing, yell, shout, whistle, hoot or holler on public streets if it is annoying nearby people. Or, as I call them, vuvuzelas.
That's all for today! More tomorrow!
The Society for Invertebrate Conservation wants the bumblebee in southern Oregon added to the endangered species list. For once, I'd be glad to see an animal on the endangered species list.
A poll says 62% of Americans say the country is headed in the wrong direction. The other 38% of Americans don't follow the news.
Health officials are advising against swimming in the water off Pensacola, Florida because of the Gulf oil spill. They also advised against putting a key in a light socket.
A report says the U.S. is dead last in health care, spending more while getting less. They got this idea from going to a major league baseball game.
A man who apparently passed out drunk on a pool float at a Tampa area beach ended up drifting about a mile into the Gulf of Mexico before being rescued by the Coast Guard. Ironically, the last people to hear about this story: BP.
Post office officials in Germany have reduced dog attacks on mailmen by using animal psychologists to help them think like dogs. Strangely enough, now all they do is bite themselves.
The Naked Cowboy, who performs in a cowboy hat and briefs on Times Square in New York, is suing a woman who calls herself the Naked Cowgirl and performs in a bikini. The judge has ruled that neither one of them are actually naked.
A South Carolina town is considering a law that would make it illegal to sing, yell, shout, whistle, hoot or holler on public streets if it is annoying nearby people. Or, as I call them, vuvuzelas.
That's all for today! More tomorrow!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
"Kids Using Smokeless Tobacco"
Joke of the Day: New York City's oldest library says one of its ledgers shows that George Washington has racked up 220 years' worth of late fees on two books he borrowed, but never returned. As a method of showing off his fame, George will pay his late fees entirely in one dollar bills.
Pope Benedict XVI celebrated his 83rd birthday with a cake. And priests celebrated with a nice sandwich.
Pope Benedict XVI celebrated his 83rd birthday with a cake. All the choir boys were on hand to sing Happy Birthday. And I'm N' Luv.
7-11 will start selling its own private label beer called “Game Day”. It's the perfect way to tell your friends, "I'm a sports fan. And completely broke."
An army medic successfully performed the Heimlich Maneuver on a woman at a Yankees baseball game. And yet, the medic couldn't stop the Yankees from choking.
Larry King has allegedly had an affair with his wife’s sister for years, according to staffers. This is being described as the "It's not my fault" maneuver.
A judge has ruled that a National Day of Prayer is unconstitutional. Atheists are calling this a miracle.
Health experts say that Major League Baseball is to blame for kids using smokeless tobacco. This is not true at all. The MLB is using it all.
Organizers of the Tea Party demonstrations on tax day say they wanted to keep the group from presenting a message of extremism. Well that worked out well.
A U.N. commission blames bad security on the assassination of Pakistan Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto in 2007. This is odd. Who knew the US had security working in Pakistan.
The Obamas earned $5.5 Million in 2009. And they don't even have to pay for a house.
The NFL is helping to produce a Broadway play about Vince Lombardi. To which married men everywhere said, "I'm not buying it".
Volcanic ash from Icelandic eruptions have grounded flights across Europe. This has gotten so bad that in Europe, Southwest Airlines is only able to make three stop-offs per trip.
Thai troops armed with assault rifles have moved to block Bangkok's prime business district from thousands of anti-government protesters. I'm guessing when you think of the prime business of Bangkok, would prostitution come to mind?
New York City's oldest library says one of its ledgers shows that George Washington has racked up 220 years' worth of late fees on two books he borrowed, but never returned. And thus, national debt was born.
A San Francisco crime lab is at the center of a growing scandal after a woman who worked there snorted cocaine that was supposed to be evidence. And as punishment, Lindsay Lohan has been fired.
President Barack Obama's spokesman says Twitter site is an "amazing tool" and a "fabulous medium." You know, like Monica Lewinsky.
That's all for now! More upcoming.
Pope Benedict XVI celebrated his 83rd birthday with a cake. And priests celebrated with a nice sandwich.
Pope Benedict XVI celebrated his 83rd birthday with a cake. All the choir boys were on hand to sing Happy Birthday. And I'm N' Luv.
7-11 will start selling its own private label beer called “Game Day”. It's the perfect way to tell your friends, "I'm a sports fan. And completely broke."
An army medic successfully performed the Heimlich Maneuver on a woman at a Yankees baseball game. And yet, the medic couldn't stop the Yankees from choking.
Larry King has allegedly had an affair with his wife’s sister for years, according to staffers. This is being described as the "It's not my fault" maneuver.
A judge has ruled that a National Day of Prayer is unconstitutional. Atheists are calling this a miracle.
Health experts say that Major League Baseball is to blame for kids using smokeless tobacco. This is not true at all. The MLB is using it all.
Organizers of the Tea Party demonstrations on tax day say they wanted to keep the group from presenting a message of extremism. Well that worked out well.
A U.N. commission blames bad security on the assassination of Pakistan Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto in 2007. This is odd. Who knew the US had security working in Pakistan.
The Obamas earned $5.5 Million in 2009. And they don't even have to pay for a house.
The NFL is helping to produce a Broadway play about Vince Lombardi. To which married men everywhere said, "I'm not buying it".
Volcanic ash from Icelandic eruptions have grounded flights across Europe. This has gotten so bad that in Europe, Southwest Airlines is only able to make three stop-offs per trip.
Thai troops armed with assault rifles have moved to block Bangkok's prime business district from thousands of anti-government protesters. I'm guessing when you think of the prime business of Bangkok, would prostitution come to mind?
New York City's oldest library says one of its ledgers shows that George Washington has racked up 220 years' worth of late fees on two books he borrowed, but never returned. And thus, national debt was born.
A San Francisco crime lab is at the center of a growing scandal after a woman who worked there snorted cocaine that was supposed to be evidence. And as punishment, Lindsay Lohan has been fired.
President Barack Obama's spokesman says Twitter site is an "amazing tool" and a "fabulous medium." You know, like Monica Lewinsky.
That's all for now! More upcoming.
Monday, February 22, 2010
"He Won't Allow Heckling"
Former career home run king Hank Aaron says Mark McGwire should have a clear conscience after his recent admission he used performance-enhancing drugs as a player. To which Hank also said, "If only Barry Bonds could only do the same."
Goshen College in Indiana is lifting a 116 year old ban on playing the National Anthem at school events. This would definitely be significant news if anyone knew who they were.
A poll says that Canada rates as the favorite country of Americans, with Iran the least liked. When hearing of this, Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadenijad said, "We will do the best we can to keep that ranking".
Israel has introduced a fleet of pilotless drones that can remain in the air for an entire day. America already has that. We call it "Northwest Airlines".
Cliff High School students studying World War I history saw a few seconds of pornography during viewing of a video about the 1919 Treaty of Versailles. Students were baffled when this happened. They asked, "Why did 1919 suddenly change to 6969?"
The Dalai Lama says that he had never heard of Tiger Woods. When someone told him who Tiger Woods was, he was confused. "I remember now, but doesn't he play golf too?"
The New York Times says that millions of Americans face going years without a job. Workers there were frightened. The article was entitled "Our budget cuts".
Tiger Woods' caddy Steve Williams says he won't allow any heckling when Woods returns to tournament play. He also said that he would try to keep the crowd in line.
A study says that overweight children are more likely to become depressed. That same study has found that the chairs of overweight people have an increased risk of suicide.
Major League Baseball has added 12 performance enhancing drugs and 30 stimulants to its "banned" list. At this rate, by 2011, Gatorade will have been banned.
Baseball players who have gone to arbitration this year averaged a 121% raise. Apparently, "arbitration" is a synonym of "government".
That's it for now! More soon.
Goshen College in Indiana is lifting a 116 year old ban on playing the National Anthem at school events. This would definitely be significant news if anyone knew who they were.
A poll says that Canada rates as the favorite country of Americans, with Iran the least liked. When hearing of this, Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadenijad said, "We will do the best we can to keep that ranking".
Israel has introduced a fleet of pilotless drones that can remain in the air for an entire day. America already has that. We call it "Northwest Airlines".
Cliff High School students studying World War I history saw a few seconds of pornography during viewing of a video about the 1919 Treaty of Versailles. Students were baffled when this happened. They asked, "Why did 1919 suddenly change to 6969?"
The Dalai Lama says that he had never heard of Tiger Woods. When someone told him who Tiger Woods was, he was confused. "I remember now, but doesn't he play golf too?"
The New York Times says that millions of Americans face going years without a job. Workers there were frightened. The article was entitled "Our budget cuts".
Tiger Woods' caddy Steve Williams says he won't allow any heckling when Woods returns to tournament play. He also said that he would try to keep the crowd in line.
A study says that overweight children are more likely to become depressed. That same study has found that the chairs of overweight people have an increased risk of suicide.
Major League Baseball has added 12 performance enhancing drugs and 30 stimulants to its "banned" list. At this rate, by 2011, Gatorade will have been banned.
Baseball players who have gone to arbitration this year averaged a 121% raise. Apparently, "arbitration" is a synonym of "government".
That's it for now! More soon.
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